Um, What the Hell?
by Klavieres
Summary: So, Zack agreed to go back in time to change a few things, yeah? And usually, in all the numerous Time Travel fics, the actual time traveling turns out okay. Unfortunately for Zack, he's still kinda, you know, dead. So how the heck's that gonna help?
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

**Because if I did, there's no way in HELL Zack would be dead.**

**-xXXXx-**

"Hey, Zack?" Aerith began, looking down at and tending to the flowers with a contemplating look in her emerald green eyes.

Said person looked up from his arm wrestling match with his previous SOLDIER mentor, Angeal Hewley, both curious about the sudden seriousness of the flower girl's voice.

"Yea, babe?" Zack asked, leaping to his feet and bounding across the expanse of white space to the flower patch, where he walked much more carefully until he was close enough to Aerith to kneel down next to her.

"What if I had an idea that might work, but might not work?" she asked, so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't realize what she was saying didn't make any sense.

Zack blinked in confusion, tilting his head to the side in an adorable puppy-like manner before tweaking the imaginary little dial on the side of his head so he could hear Aerith's thoughts. (They had enough self awareness to not be swallowed up by the rest of the Lifestream, mind you, but that didn't stop them from sometimes blending their minds together like the other souls and accidentally listening to each others thoughts. They preferred to stay on different "frequencies," as Zack called it, because Zack had more than once had less-than-appropriate thoughts about Aerith that Angeal would really rather not hear.)

"...Um," he began eventually after he got the gist of what Aerith was planning. Angeal had taken to sitting beside the magical little pool of water off to the side that they sometimes used to check up on their living friends (or use as a T.V. when they're bored), most likely trying to telepathically ask Genesis what the hell he was doing sitting in a bubble in a Goddess-forsaken cave for Gaia knows how long.

"Think about it," Aerith gushed, offhandedly tweaking her own "dial" to get her mind away from Zack's, because even though they were together, having someone in your head wasn't a very enjoyable experience, "Cloud wouldn't be so depressed, Genesis wouldn't be in bubble-" insert annoyed grumble from Angeal, "- and Sephiroth wouldn't be all secluded from the rest of Lifestream competing with Cloud in a depression contest!"

"Speaking of Seph," Zack began, looking over his shoulder at Angeal, "Where's his cell, now? Did it move again?"

Angeal blinked up at him, thinking for a while, "Yea, it's just past the Nibelheim group."

"Even dead, they're still so small town," Zack grumbled, turning back to Aerith. "How do they even stay grouped like that? I thought they were supposed to be absorbed by the rest of the Lifestream."

"I'm not sure," Aerith admitted, frowning in contemplation. "The Turks stay away from the SOLDIERS, too."

"Since when could you pick where you flowed?" Zack cried out indignantly. "That's so not fair. I wanna live under Costa del Sol. Why are we under a Zolom nesting ground? Do you know how bad it stinks when I so much as try to stick my head out of the spring?"

"Anyways," Aerith interrupted, "Back to the topic; I couldn't send Cloud because he hasn't had enough contact with the Lifestream for me to influence his soul-"

"He's been here _four times_," Zack deadpanned incredulously, "He _swam_ in it."

"- Yep, not nearly enough," Aerith went on, ignoring him. "And it would seem like a pretty overused storyline, for some reason," she mulled, a thoughtful finger on her chin.

"..._Huh?_" Zack asked, making a face.

"And Angeal doesn't know Cloud enough to make a difference with him," Aerith finished.

"What?" Angeal asked at the sound of his name, looking up from the pond curiously.

"Why not you?" Zack whined. "You know what you're doing. What if I get sent back too late? Or too early? Or _way_ too early? I don't know about you, but I'd rather not wake up in a two year old body with a twenty-three year old mind." He shuddered.

"Please, Zack?" Aerith pleaded, giving him puppy eyes. "I could always just bring you back if it doesn't work..." His stare wavered at her big green eyes until he finally sighed explosively, throwing his arms in the air.

"You stole that from me," he pouted, gesturing to her tear-jerking expression. "But fine, I'll do it..."

"Hooray!" Aerith laughed, throwing her arms around his and kissing his cheek. "Thank you!"

"Yea, yea," he said with a grin, rolling his eyes and hugging her back. "So how's this gonna work?"

"Oh, I could do it at anytime," she explained, pulling back. "Since the Lifestream exists everywhere and everywhen. Just tell me when you're ready!"

Zack hummed, looking over his shoulder, "Hey, Angeal, I'm going back in time, kay?"

"Be back by ten," Angeal mumbled distractedly as he now watched a chocobo race, having given up on talking to Genesis for the time being.

"Okay, let's do this!" Zack said cheerfully, turning to Aerith with a grin expectantly. She smiled back at him and kissed him.

"Hey, wait a second!" Angeal gasped, now just realizing what Zack had said.

"Okay, see you in a bit!" Aerith replied to Zack cheerfully. And then she placed her hands on either side of Zack's head, and a strange numbness had taken over him, not unlike falling asleep.

**-xXx-**

The Goddess paused in her chess game with Odin, blinking thoughtfully when she felt a disturbance in the force.

"What happened, my Lady?" Odin asked curiously.

Minerva shook her head with a fond smile. "That girl is at it again."

**-xXx-**

When Zack first opened his eyes, he figured that the familiar white light he saw was just a bad case of photo-sensitivity and that he would blink a few times and be looking up at the ceiling of his apartment in the Shinra building, but after blinking quite a few times and rubbing his eyes furiously, he realized that no, he was still dead.

"Hey, babe?" He called out, looking around for Aerith or Angeal. "It didn't work!"

The only thing he saw was a pond like the one they used to watch the living world, and he crept over to it curiously, gasping when he saw what was in it.

He was in his apartment, alright, just waking up and putting on his 2nd Class SOLDIER uniform. And unless the pond decided to start playing older scenes, then he did get sent back in time.

"What the hell am I supposed to do now?" he wailed, throwing himself down on the ground beside the pond.

**-xXx-**

Zack Fair, SOLDIER 2nd Class, paused in pulling his turtleneck over his torso when he heard someone yell something, someone that he thought sounded suspiciously like himself.

"That's weird," he muttered.

_What's weird is watching yourself get dressed from a completely different location,_ the voice grumbled in response, and Zack jumped in surprised when he realized it was in his head._ How am I supposed to contact Aerith from here? I'll guess she'll notice if I change anything or not..._

"Um," Zack began, bewildered, and a little freaked out. "Why am I thinking thoughts I'm not thinking?"

_Was I that loony?_ the voice went on._ I don't remember this. Why am I talking to myself? Did I go crazy and not notice it?_

"Um, I wouldn't know?" Zack said uncertainly. "Who are you, just wondering? Why are you in my head? And why do you sound like me? Oh, damnit, I knew I shouldn't have drank that stuff Reno gave me! It was probably some weird experiment the Science Department put him up to!"

_Why the hell would you drink something a _Turk_ gave you? _the voice demanded as if he were stupid.

"Hey, I had just come back from a mission and I was really thirsty!" Zack cried in his defense.

There was a moment of silence where Zack had started to think the voice had gone away and it was just some type of sleep-induced hallucination, but then the it started up again._ Wait...you can hear me?_

"Uh, who do you think I've been talking to?" Zack asked rhetorically.

_...Holy shit._

**-xXXXx-**

**So, yeah, feedback is appreciated! This is my first FF7 fanfic, too, so don't hate too hard xP  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

**-xXXXx-**

"Okay, so you're me," sixteen year old Zack stated, plopping down onto his couch. He might be late, but he was sure Angeal would forgive him since this self-evaluating psych test was a little important. "You're dead, and you're _not_ in my head, just projecting what you're _saying_ into my head."

_Yep!_Twenty-three year old Zack replied.

"And your girlfriend sent you from the future to change some things so it wouldn't end as badly as it did in your timeline?"

_Correcto,_said older Zack cheerfully.

"...and you want me to help you since you're dead and can't do anything..."

_Would that be a problem?_Ghost Zack sounded like he was cringing.

"No, it's just..." Zack trailed off before exploding, "Okay, I die when I'm only twenty-three? I get that my job isn't exactly safe and all, but _twenty-three?_"

_Not if you play your cards right,_ Ghost Zack laughed, relieved. _And you've got a great hand with me here._ His voice then shifted into a lower volume, and he dragged out the words. _I know eeeverythiing..._

"I'm such a dork," Zack snickered.

_I resent that!_

Younger Zack laughed again. "Okay, what am I going to call you? Because I keep calling you "Zack" in my head, but it's kinda throwing me off. You have a nickname or something?"

_Well, yeah, but there's no way in Hell I'm telling you it._

Zack pouted.

_Just call me... Fair! You know, last name._

"Fair, got it," Zack replied.

_And, hey, would you mind telling me what the last big thing that happened was? So I can get an idea of where I'm starting?_

"Umm," he thought for a while. "I made 2nd Class about two months ago?"

_Okay, so the war in Wutai hasn't ended yet._

"Well, General Sephiroth came back yesterday and Commander Rhapsodos is leaving in a week to stay for a while."

_Ugh, titles!_ Fair suddenly sounded as if he were writhing in pain. _Okay, first things first, you are making friends. And don't try to argue!_ he shouted when Zack opened his mouth. _I have a list of five people you need to get acquainted with, one of which will have to come at her own time._

"Who are they?" the teen asked curiously.

_Well, Seph is at the top of the list, because hearing you speak so formally about him is torture and the guy needs all the friends he can get. Then would be Genesis, I guess, since you don't have much time before he leaves. Next is Aerith Gainsborough, she lives in the slums but she is amazing and chances are she'll know what's up with my situation. And finally, Cloud Strife, he should be a cadet in the SOLDIER program right about now, but he's the best little chocobo you ever meet!_

"Chocobo?" Zack asked, confused.

_You'll see when you meet him,_ Fair snickered. _And then Cissnei's a Turk, so I have no clue what she's doing now. Being friends with a Turk will have its ups and downs._

"Right," Zack said slowly. "So, what should I do now?"

_Go to class, what the hell!_ Fair shouted suddenly. _You're two hours late; Angeal's gonna skin you!_

Zack checked his phone and sure enough, he had two missed calls and an email from Angeal.

"Shit!" he gasped, leaping up and grabbing his junior buster.

_And we're finding you a buster sword!_ Fair went on. _That thing is pathetic compared to my baby!_

"Okay, okay," Zack muttered, trying to talk much quieter now that he was in public. "Just stop yelling..."

**-xXx-**

Angeal sighed angrily as he checked his watch again.

'Two hours late. Did he not set an alarm or something?'

"Hello, Angeal," a familiar voice drawled.

"Genesis," Angeal greeted with a smile, turning to face the auburn haired man. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, Sephiroth and I could see you standing here alone from his office, and we decided that I would be the one to see why you were being so antisocial."

Angeal rolled his eyes. "I'm waiting for Zack."

"Oh, the kid you're mentoring," Genesis stated in recognition and then proceeded to sound quite scandalized, "I haven't actually met him, you know, despite how much you yap on about him. When are you going to introduce us?"

"Angeal!" Zack Fair gasped from the other side of the field they were all in. He ran over to them, leaning on his knees when he got there and trying to catch his breath.

"Well?" Angeal asked expectantly.

"I have a good reason," Zack panted. "I honest to God thought I was crazy this morning and had to sort myself out. And the elevators are broken since Heidegger and Palmer tried to ride the same one and broke the weight limit."

Genesis broke out into laughter while Angeal rose an eyebrow at him, being the respectful man he is and ignoring the last part.

"Well then I guess it's a good thing you ran down half the building to get here," he began. "Because now you can finish the rest of the four and a half laps up and down the building."

Zack made a noise like he was choking on something before flopping onto his side and wailing dramatically.

"_Ahem_," Genesis cleared his throat pointedly.

"Oh," Angeal remembered. "Zack, this is my old friend Genesis Rhapsodos. Genesis, this is Zack Fair."

"Pleasure to meet you, sir," Zack groaned, rolling to his feet and shaking hands with Genesis.

"I've heard alot about you," Genesis told him. "It's a shame Angeal didn't introduce us earlier." He shot a look at the dark-haired man who rolled his eyes again.

Zack suddenly laughed rather loudly, clapping his hand over his mouth in a vain attempt to keep it covered.

"Something funny?" Angeal asked dryly, one eyebrow raised.

"Um," Zack began, motioning to the cadets running laps around the field and keeping his hand pressed to his mouth as if he was going to stop another laugh should it try to escape. "One of them fell. On his face. Yeah. It was funny!" Genesis shared a look with his friend when they glanced at the cadets and did _not_ see one picking himself off the ground. "So, those laps? Yeah, I'll get right on them! See you in a bit, Angeal!" And then he turned around and started jogging back to the building.

Genesis paused when his enhanced hearing picked up Zack muttering, "Stop making witty comments and trying to make me laugh!"

"I think he was right when he was questioning his sanity this morning," Genesis admitted, watching Zack leave.

"I've been questioning mine since I met him," Angeal sighed as he rubbed away his headache.

**-xXx-**

"You're gonna make me look crazy!" Zack grunted under his breath as he reached the twenty-fourth floor. He was kind of cheating by hopping up the sides of the stairwell like some kind of spider-man, but hey, what Angeal didn't know wouldn't hurt him. 'Hey, Spiderman. That might make a good movie.'

_Pssht!_ Fair scoffed._ Was I that dense? You're already crazy! Who else would pull the impossible pranks you're always getting in trouble for?_

"Reno," Zack mumbled.

_Yeah, but he's crazy, too, and you'll become partners in crime sooner or later_. Fair sighed longingly. _Oh, what I wouldn't give to see the look on Scarlet's face again when we poured mustard on her..._

"...Okay, you have to tell me about that," Zack grinned, reaching the forty-sixth floor.

_One day, young grasshopper,_Fair replied sagely.

"You're gonna corrupt me," Zack snickered.

_Please, my Angeal's probably having kittens right now since he knows he'll have to deal with more of my insanity than he originally did. Watch out for that railing on the sixty-third floor, by the way, it's loose._

"Thanks," Zack panted, skipping said railing. He landed on the sixty-seventh floor, since that was the last floor he had clearance for, before turning around and looking down. "If I jump straight down, will a Cure3 be enough to heal my broken legs?"

_If you were a 1st Class, yeah, Fair replied. But you kinda don't have enough mako in your system for the healing to be enough. You're good at Jump, right?_

"Mastered it," Zack affirmed with a nod.

_Jump down a fourth of the way and land on the side, then. I'd rather you not break my legs. _Ooh! Zack jumped at the sudden exclamation, and it was then that he noticed the presence behind him. He turned around to meet long silver hair and curious, mako-green eyes.

"Sir!" Zack saluted quickly,

_The formality!_Fair wailed.

"...Fair," Sephiroth acknowledged with a nod. "At ease."

_That'll get confusing._

"Shut up!" Zack hissed.

Sephiroth blinked incredulously. "_Excuse me?_"

_He's so innocent!_Fair crooned while Zack paled.

"Not you, sir!" he amended quickly. "Um, I was talking to someone else..."

The General glanced around briefly. "...There's no one here..."

"I know," Zack sheepishly scratched his head, "It's, uh-" He sighed. "It's a long story, sir..."

_Stop that!_Fair barked.

"I can't!" Zack snapped back. "Stop talking to me in public!"

Sephiroth looked terribly confused, resulting in Fair cooing over him again.

"I'm sorry, sir," Zack apologized nervously, backing up and looking over the railing. "If you'll, uh, excuse me-" And then he flipped over the railing and plummeted to the ground below.

Sephiroth stared at the space he had been in in total confusion.

"I swear, Fair, just wait till I get my hands on you," Zack muttered after he landed on the side of the forty-eighth floor, his face burning with embarrassment.

_Can't, I'm dead!_ Fair replied cheerfully.

**-xXXXx-**

**I hate it when you start writing a fanfic and crank out like, three chapters before you have to stop and then when you try to write more the next day it's like your brain just decided to suddenly screw you over.**

**Eh, whatever. Thank you guys for the reviews! :D Haven't gotten that many that fast before x)** **Makes me giddy x)**

**Okay! I wuv you! Buh-bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

_Fair talking_

'People thinking'

**-xXXXx-**

_Okay_, Fair began. _Now that you're working on the list of 'people to befriend,' we can get on to more important stuff._

"Like?" Zack asked. He was off duty now and had taken to wearing a phone piece in his ear so that other people wouldn't question his sanity when he talked aloud as his higher ranking officer no doubt did. (He still shuddered when he thought about it).

_Well, we need to go to Nibelheim. The faster we can get there and get rid of Jenova, the better._

"Alright." Zack stopped at the end of the line of people waiting to get a slushie. "Who's-"

_Don't say it!_ Fair interrupted quickly. _You're not supposed to know who she is. Just call her Jellyfish._

"Jellyfish?" Zack repeated disbelievingly.

_If you saw her, you'd know,_ Fair replied dismissively. _So, anyways, yeah, she's this really old alien chick that Hojo uses with the SOLDIER experiments-_

"Wait, SOLDIER? 'Uses?' Was she used with me?" Zack interrupted, wide-eyed and feeling rather disturbed.

_Uh... Yeah._Fair sounded like he was cringing again.

"What else do they pump in me?" the younger boy demanded, thoroughly horrified. "I thought it was just mako!"

_You know, I'm still not entirely sure..._ Fair admitted. _And I must admit, hearing you say that makes me feel like I was ridiculously naive when I was sixteen. It's _Shinra_. Of _course_ it's not as simple and innocent as they make it seem._

"Hey!" Zack cried indignantly. "I can't help it!"

_Why didn't Angeal ever tell me about the shots?_ Fair went on, _I know he knew way more than me. And he had plenty of time to tell me before he went all AWOL. You know what? I'm giving him a very stern talking to when I see him again._

"Um," Zack sputtered, shocked into silence for a moment at the thought of Angeal of all people leaving SOLDIER.

_Now, don't ask questions,_ Fair chided. _Have to keep the timeline and universe in balance and all that jazz._

"Hey, you can't leave me hanging after that!" Zack protested as he ordered his orange slushie and a strawberry one to save for later.

All Fair did was whistle a little showtune in reply.

**-xXx-**

Zack walked to the doors of the Shinra building, one half finished slushie in one hand and a half melted one in the other. He was arguing about swords with Fair, who was demanding he get something closer resembling a buster as soon as yesterday.

"Do you know how hard it is to even find that type?" Zack asked. "It would take me forever to find a weapons dealer that actually sells it, and even if I do there's still a matter of me not being able to afford or be allowed to own it. Only 1sts can get personal equipment, remember?"

_Bah,_ Fair scoffed. _They didn't take mine away and I was still 2nd. Granted, I was only 2nd for about one more day, and I would have kicked their sorry asses if they even thought about trying to take it away from me, and I think Seph would have actually helped, and they would probably have felt like huge asses after the events that led to me getting the sword, but still._

"I don't think that sentence had much proper grammar," Zack noted.

_You're paid to chop, not think!_Fair cried.

"I'm offended by that!"

_Good, now shut up, cuz I see little Cloudy!_

Zack made a face. "Who?"

And then a rather small cadet entered his line of sight, but it wasn't his size or the way it was like he was trying not to be seen that caught his attention, it was the holy-crap he could spear a small child if he looked down blond spikes sticking out everywhere over his head.

"And people say _I'm_spiky-headed!" Zack guffawed.

_Aw, don't make fun of him!_ Fair whined._ He's too adorable. Much less emo than when he's older. Come on, look at that face!_

And Zack did, and realized that the blond must have heard him, because he was looking at him with a frown on his features.

_Apologize!_Fair demanded.

"You're not my mother," Zack muttered, then yelled out, "Hey! Come here for a sec!"

The blond looked around himself as if to make sure there was no one else Zack could have been talking to before looking back at him and raising an eyebrow.

"Can I help you?" he asked as he approached.

_Doesn't he look like a chocobo?_Zack cooed.

"Yea, this voice in the back of my head is telling me to make friends with you," Zack said cheerfully in a way that Cloud couldn't tell if he was serious or not. Zack grinned. "So, I'm Zack Fair. And you are?"

Cloud shifted uncomfortably, and Zack noticed a set of class textbooks balanced against his arm and side. "Cloud Strife."

"Am I holding you up?" Zack asked, taking a long slurp of his slushie as he gestured to the textbooks. Cloud followed the movement and looked back up at Zack to shake his head.

"Classes just ended. I was heading back to the barracks."

"Cool!" Zack grinned. "Here." He thrust the extra slushie into Cloud's space. "I was gonna save it for later, but by the time I get to my fridge it'll be melted."

"Um, thanks?" Cloud replied confusedly, taking the drink with his free hand. Zack narrowed his eyes at him suddenly and Cloud raised an eyebrow, tensing up. "...What?"

"You're not from here," Zack declared proudly as if he had just solved a huge puzzle single-handedly.

"No," Cloud answered slowly.

_He thinks you're crazy,_ Fair stated morosely. _And that makes me sad because he will now forever remember me as crazy._

Zack ignored him. "You sound like you might be from... Rocket town? I've been there once."

"No, a small town south of it," Cloud corrected.

"Hey, I'm from a small town, too!" Zack grinned. "What town? Can't be mine, I'd know you."

"Nibelheim."

Zack snorted, "Nope, definitely don't know you."

"And what about you?" Cloud challenged, raising an eyebrow and apparently wondering if he should be offended or not.

_There he goes!_ Fair laughed. _Better watch out. You piss him off, he'll go small town on you. It's actually pretty scary. Funny from a bystander's point of view, but scary._

"Me?" Zack asked, ignoring Fair yet again. "Gongaga."

Cloud snickered, raising the hand holding his slushie to cover his smile.

"Hey, you know Gongaga?" Zack asked back with a smile, about to get defensive of his own unimportant town.

"No," Cloud admitted with a grin. "But... It's such a backwater name."

"Ditto Nibelheim," Zack scoffed.

_This is so freaky,_ Fair whispered dramatically. _It's almost the exact same..._

"Like you've been there," Cloud shot back.

"I haven't," Zack admitted, switching the hand holding his slushie since it was getting numb and swinging his free hand around to get more feeling into it. "But there's a reactor there, right? A mako reactor outside midgar usually means-"

"Nothing else out there," Cloud, Zack, and Fair all finished at the same time, though Zack was the only one that could hear Fair. They laughed together before Zack checked his watch.

"Hey, you have curfew in thirty minutes," Zack said. Cloud's eyes widened in surprise as he glanced at his own watch.

"Oh, thanks," he said.

"I'll let you go then," Zack said with a grin as he turned to continue into the Shinra building, "See ya around."

"See you," Cloud returned with a smile.

_The world is a harsh place,_ Fair declared once they were inside. _I mean, look at him! Why would the Goddess want to destroy that innocence! I get that life sucks anyways and all, but that is just cruel! _

"What are you talking about?" Zack asked with a bewildered expression.

_It's not fair!_ Fair went on to whine before he paused. _Oh, I'm so punny!_

**-xXXXx-**

**__Alright, I've got the next two chapters written :D I've never been this ahead in a chapter story... Maybe I should chill on this one and try to crank out more chapters for my other multichap...**

**Reviews are welcome! :D Toodles~  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

**But I do own the Hershey's pie sitting in my fridge.**

**Mmm. Chocolate.  
><strong>

_Fair talking_

'People thinking'

**-xXXXx-**

"Angeal, we are doing this because we love you," Genesis announced one day as he marched into said man's office with the silver-haired third part of the legendary Trinity.

Angeal looked up from his paperwork warily. Genesis had a very stern expression on his face, but Sephiroth looked like he couldn't care less so Angeal figured it wasn't very serious.

"...What is it?" he sighed, rubbing his forehead in preparation of the headache that was no doubt about to come.

"Sephiroth and I have been talking," the poetic man began, "And we have decided your student is not healthy for your...health."

Angeal rose an eyebrow and Sephiroth shrugged. "I told him it was ridiculous. He did not listen, obviously." Angeal sighed again and looked at Genesis, motioning for him to go on.

"We know he already runs you up the walls with his pranks-"

"Most of which are the Turk Reno's that merely get blamed on him," Angeal corrected.

"-and lately he has been making sudden demands to get placed on a mission that goes to _Nibelheim _of all places-"

"A new acquaintance of his who is native to that region is having a birthday soon, and he would like to surprise him with a return visit to his hometown," the dark-haired 1st intercepted smoothly.

"-and for the past few days he has been talking to himself quite often," Genesis finished, frowning at Angeal for interrupting him so many times.

"He's had a phone piece in his ear, Gen, he's not talking to himself," Angeal sighed.

"How do you know?" Genesis challenged. "You can't watch him all the time."

"Because he's wearing one right now?" Angeal gestured to somewhere behind Genesis and the red-head blinked in surprise before whirling around to come face to face with a pouting puppy.

"I'm not that bad, am I?" Zack mumbled pathetically, lounging comfortably in one of Angeal's chairs. And indeed, he had a phone piece in his ear.

Okay, Genesis did kind of feel guilty, because anyone would if Zack looked at them that way, even if they didn't do anything. He spluttered for a moment before rounding on his friend.

"You knew he was there!" he accused.

Angeal snorted. "Of course. Sephiroth did, too." Genesis turned on the other man, who shrugged and looked like he was trying not to smile.

"I wanted to see your reaction," he admitted.

"How did you _not_ notice?" Angeal asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I, well," Genesis sputtered. "I had other things on my mind."

"Like...?" Zack put in, not really hurt but in fact finding the whole thing rather funny.

"Like the well-being of my best friend!" Genesis huffed, narrowing his eyes at him. "_You _hush."

"...I don't know," Zack mumbled after a while with a grin. "Probably." Genesis made a 'what the hell' expression.

"Has that thing been on this whole time?" he demanded.

Zack grinned more after a few seconds, a few controlled snickers leaving him.

"And what's so funny?" the older man snapped.

"Things that would get me written up for repeating," Zack replied casually. "He's playing Mario. And losing. And his rants are hilarious. He says 'hi,' by the way." He paused, then said brightly into the speaker, "Thanks!"

"It must be a teen thing," Angeal sighed tiredly. "He's always on his phone nowadays."

"I'm sure he'll grow out of it," Sephiroth consoled halfheartedly, "Genesis, calm down. Not everyone here is insane."

Zack apparently either thought what Sephiroth said or something his 'friend' said was funny because he laughed rather loudly.

"Last week it was Hojo," Angeal put in, ignoring his student.

"_That_ man_ is_ insane," Sephiroth replied with a questioning glance in Zack's direction, which was met with a cheery salute. He shook his head with a sigh. "Let's go, Genesis, we have a meeting."

"Hmph," Genesis grumbled, turning and leaving dramatically through the door.

"Good day, Angeal," Sephiroth said as he turned to follow. "Fair."

"See you, Sephiroth."

"Bye, sir!" Pause. "Ow, I told you I can't help it, so stop yelling!"

**-xXx-**

"Where are you sending me again?" Zack asked skeptically, looking at the times for trains heading down to the Sector 5 slums.

_A place where I'm glad I made you change out of uniform,_ Fair stated, _You'd probably get jumped by AVALANCHE agents and/or other various Shinra haters._

"Who's AVALANCHE?"

_Oh, that's right, you don't hear about them till you make 1st,_ Fair mumbled. _Well, they're an anti-Shinra group. They aren't so bad right now, but you'll start hearing about them eventually._

"HELP!"

"_Odin-_" Zack cursed, jumping since the scream was right in his freaking _ear._"What the hell-?"

"He stole my purse!" a, um, rather feminine man exclaimed, jabbing his manicured finger at a hooded man racing down the road, clutching a designer brand bag.

"...The fuck?" Zack gaped.

_Dear Shiva!_ Fair was howling with laughter. _Oh, God, I'm g-gonna re-die! _

"What do I do?" Zack asked bewilderingly, looking between the man and the thief. "I mean, be a gentleman and get it? Or, since he's a guy, let him-her-him- oh, what the hell!"

_Well, if he was this nerdy guy and his wallet just got jacked, you'd run for it,_Fair wheezed.

"...Okay," Zack sighed. "Wait here, uh, sir. Ma'am. I'll get it for you."

"Oh, why, thank you young man," the man-woman-person cooed, fluttering his eyelashes.

Fair almost choked laughing so hard at the expression on Zack's face before the young SOLDIER took off.

Luckily his enhancements made up for him stalling when he was deciding, and apparently the thief ran like he was drunk, so he caught up to him rather quickly and cornered him beside a construction zone.

"Okay, dude, this is pretty awkward for me and I kinda have somewhere I need to be, so can you just give me the bag?" Zack asked, holding his hands up to try to keep him from bolting. "And I'm trained, just so you know, so don't think you can take me on."

"Trained?" the guy scoffed shakily. "A kid like you? What are you, a hall monitor?"

Fair was laughing again. Zack rose an eyebrow at the thief, unable to help the amused grin that spread across his face. "No. SOLDIER 2nd Class, Zack Fair, at your service." He jingled his dog tags for emphasis.

The guy had an 'oh, shit' look on his face now that made Fair laugh again. His eyes shifted around for an opening as he clutched the bag to his chest, still trembling violently.

_What is he, a druggie?_ Fair asked. _What does he need the money that bad for?_

"Dude, just give me the bag," Zack sighed, taking a step forward. The guy took a step back, and with widened eyes Zack realized that the construction zone behind him was actually a giant freaking hole in the plate where workers were apparently trying to get to something in or below the complex work of metal.

_Oh, shit._

"Hey," Zack warned, moving back again, "There's a-"

"I don't care if you're trained or not," the guy stated, reaching into his pocket. Zack stilled as he pulled out a gun and aimed it at his head with a crazy smile. "Even SOLDIERs aren't bullet proof."

_Fuck._

Zack held his hands up with his lips pressed into a hard line.

_I'm sorry,_ Fair was saying._ I made you take off your uniform. I'm sorry._

"Don't worry about it," Zack muttered to him. The belt he wore around his stomach was also bullet proof and he regretted not wearing it, though he was above the plate and activities like this typically were found in the slums. "I can move before it hits a vital. I'm quick enough. I'm good."

The guy gestured for him to move to the side and Zack complied, judging the distance between them and wondering if he could reach him and get the gun before he pulled the trigger.

"Don't try anything," the guy ordered. They had turned so that they had switched spots, with Zack stuck beside the hole and the man free to run.

"...Aren't you gonna go?" Zack asked, gesturing to the open road. The man licked his lips and grinned again.

"You'll just chase me again," he shook his head. "And I need money. Sorry," and then he pulled the trigger.

Zack stepped aside quickly and luckily dodged the bullet, but his foot slipped off the ledge and he lost his balance, toppling over into the hole.

_HEY-_

He didn't know how far he fell, but he hit his head on a ledge somewhere on the way down and lost consciousness.

**-xXXXx-**

**Oh, yes I did go there.**

**I think authors like torturing their characters. It makes us feel _powerful. _Jk.**

**Here's the chapter early, since tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'll be too busy nomming to do anything else. :)**

**Happy Thanksgiving to you all! Except if you don't live in America, cuz that's awkward, but if you don't then I just hope you have an exceptionally wonderful day. :D  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

_Fair talking_

"People talking"

'People thinking'

**-xXXXx-**

"...Hello?"

_Fuck, wake up-_

"Can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?"

_Can't tell if you're dead or not, come _on_-_

Zack groaned as he came to, feeling his body throb painfully.

"You're alive!" The person- a girl- sounded immensely relieved.

_Shiva, I fell from the plate, too, but it wasn't as _bloody_!_ Fair was complaining. _Call Angeal, or Kunsel or someone. You need a Cure._

"Can you open you eyes for me?" the girl repeated, and Zack cracked his eyes open.

"...An angel?" he mumbled when he saw her. Pretty green eyes blinked in surprise.

You could practically hear the eye roll when Fair sighed.

"No, I'm Aerith," she corrected with a slight smile. Zack squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again to sit up and survey his injuries.

_You were basically put through a shredder when you fell through the metal-works_, Fair said. _You hit your head several times. You need to get checked._

"...Wow," Zack said with wide eyes. He didn't think he'd seen himself look so bloody.

"The cuts aren't deep at all," Aerith was telling him. "But there are alot of them, so..."

_They're half-healed,_Fair explained.

"Um," Zack squeezed his eyes shut again. It was really hard for him to hold onto a train of thought. "My phone. I need..." He patted the pocket he normally kept it in, sighing in relief when he found it in one piece. The screen was completely shattered and he couldn't read anything, but he didn't need to to speed dial 3.

Aerith was holding her hand to a particularly nasty gash on his stomach to slow the bleeding and he shot her a thankful smile.

The phone rang two times before it was picked up. "Angeal Hewley."

"Angeal," Zack smiled briefly. "I, um, need your help."

"Are you okay?" his mentor immediately asked, apparently hearing something in his voice.

"I need a Cure," Zack went on.

"Where are you?" Angeal demanded.

"Um..." he glanced at Aerith for help, and was surprised when she plucked the phone from his grasp. She made him lay back down with a brief smile in his direction before speaking to Angeal.

"He's in the church in the Sector 5 Slums," she told him. There was a pause before she replied, "I've seen worse. He probably has a concussion, and he's lost alot of blood."

_Well I guess that was a faster way to get here,_ Fair grumbled as Aerith talked to Angeal.

Zack couldn't talk without the phone, so he settled for looking confused.

_She's the Aerith I told you about,_ Fair explained. _This is where I was going to take you._

"Well," Zack replied, looking around. He noticed he was in a very run-down church, though the flower patch he was laying in the middle of made it seem very nice.

Aerith flipped his phone shut and slid it into his pocket for him.

"Your friend is coming to get you," she told him with a smile, before frowning at somewhere above his eyes for a moment and reaching to press her free hand against a cut there.

"Thanks," he told her, grinning. "I don't think anyone else would be as nice if I fell through their roof and trashed their place."

"It was already falling down," she objected, shaking her head.

_Hey, uh,_ Fair began awkwardly. _That habit of biting the inside of your cheek that you've had since you were twelve? Yeah, don't do that._

"Why?" Zack asked, tonguing both cheeks to see if he felt anything wrong and _**holy fuck his cheek was sliced completely through.**_

_That's why,_ Fair winced. _But, hey, your scar will look like one you would have ended up getting anyways. Except the way I got mine was... a bit more dramatic._

Luckily for Aerith, she was looking up at the ceiling and didn't notice Zack's tongue peek out through the gash in his cheek as she replied to the question she thought Zack was asking her. "Well, it is pretty old, and no one would come down here to do repairs even if I had the money."

"...I like it the way it is," Zack said truthfully after a while of internally freaking out.

"Really?" she tilted her head to the side. "...I think I'd prefer it this way, too. I couldn't bear to change it." She winced down at him, smiling slightly. "Random subject, I know, but I'm trying to keep you talking."

"No, it's fine," Zack flashed her a lopsided grin, before glancing down. "Sorry about the flowers..."

She shook her head. "They're just flowers. What's important is that you're alive..." She looked up through the ceiling at the bottom of the plate. "...How are you alive, anyways? I've never seen someone fall from that high..."

"Well, I can be pretty tough," he grinned.

_Dude, I can't believe you're flirting with her when you look like you've been put through a cheese grater._

Zack would have made a smart comment back if he had his phone piece.

**-xXx-**

Angeal. Was.

**Pissed.**

And that's saying alot, because Angeal almost never let his anger get to him like that. Zack would have been flattered if he hadn't been pissed at him, too.

"Did you even_ think_ that he might have been armed?" Angeal was demanding. He had come to the church with his Cure materia and healed the worst of the wounds, thanked Aerith profusely, and hauled Zack back up to the medical labs back in the Shinra building.

"He was above the plate," Zack defended weakly from his place on the cot. "And a civilian. I thought I'd be okay."

"A criminal can easily buy a train ticket to the plate," Angeal scolded darkly. "You underestimated again. I thought you'd grown out of that."

'Ouch.' "Sorry," Zack mumbled.

Fair had been quiet the whole time.

Angeal sighed roughly, raking a hand through his hair. "You were only trying to help," he said. He reached over and squeezed Zack's knee. "I'm not mad at you, Zack, I'm upset with what happened."

But that totally didn't stop him from chewing the head of the Urban Development Department, Reeve Tuesti, the hell _out_ when he called him later.

**-xXx-**

"My mouth feels weird," Zack commented unnecessarily, tonguing the stitches in his cheek. He had been giving xylocaine before the procedure and it still hadn't worn off.

_Leave it alone,_ Fair scolded. Zack also had stitches on his forehead and stomach. _It's a bit longer than mine, _Fair stated_. And it doesn't have the smaller one crossing it._

"What?"

_The cut._

"Oh." Zack blinked for a moment. "Hey, if you fell from the plate, too, how come _you_ didn't get all cut up?"

_Well it was just a straight fall for me. You fell on a bunch of pieces of sawed up metal._

"Oh..."

A nurse passed by with a pitying look on her face and Zack chose that moment to growl out, "_Why so serious?_" And then she scrambled away rather quickly and Zack and Fair got a good laugh.

"Can't they hurry up?" Zack complained. They were still waiting for a nurse to return with some papers Zack had to fill out. "I really need a shower." He picked at a few dried flakes of blood. His clothes were beyond repair, soaked with blood and ripped in several places. Zack pouted. "I liked these clothes."

_At least you'll have an interesting story to tell Kunsel,_ Fair noted.

"If I ever see that guy again..." Zack began, shaking his head with a scowl. "I'll show him 'hall monitor'..."

Somewhere in a dark ally near Loveless Avenue, a hooded man shivered.

"Must be cold," the man muttered, zipping up his jacket. He decided, nodding firmly, "More crack'll fix it."

"Yo," a redhead drawled from the mouth of the alleyway, tapping an EMR against his shoulder. The hooded man jumped, clutching his precious drugs to his chest.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"I saw what you did to my friend back there. You're lucky he's okay, yo." The teen pointed his EMR at the man and flipped the switch to make it spark to life, flashing an impish grin when the man jumped and knocked over a trash can. "Boy, am I gonna have some _fun _with you."

Back in the Shinra tower, Zack perked up.

"I feel avenged all of a sudden for some reason," he stated happily.

_Shiva, I _am_ crazy..._

**-xXXXx-**

**Woah, had a bad case of writer's block there. After I finished this chapter, of course, because I'm trying not to post chapters until I have at least two finished in case there's something I want to go back and change... I've got an _idea_ for the next chapter, though it isn't written yet. And I'm gonna have a few more fun chapters until I get to the actual plot.**

**If you review fast, I'll post a side story showing what Fair was telling Zack to make him laugh while Genesis and Sephiroth were talking to Angeal last chapter. ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

_Fair talking_

"People talking"

'People thinking'

**-xXXXx**

Zack sucked on his plastic spoon contently as he walked through the SOLDIER floor on his way to receive his mission. He had a fruit smoothie (he was using a spoon because he liked to chew on his straws and thought it might irritate his stitches) because Angeal decided he had too many slushies and thought fruit was healthier than sugar.

"Pfff," Zack pouted, his headphones hanging from his ears. He hadn't been able to get a new phone piece, so he was using earbuds with a microphone on the wire. His phone was still broken, but he hadn't had time to go look at getting a new one. "But I _need_ sugar. How else will I stay so bouncy?"

_Keep stuffing yourself with junk and you _will_ be bouncy,_ Fair complained. _Your body is mine, too, you know. I wanna keep my abs!_

"I burn the carbs off," Zack defended. "Shiva knows if I don't eat as much as I do then I'll faint with Angeal drilling me like he does."

_...I can't argue that,_Fair sighed.

"Alright, I can't have these on when I'm in here," Zack stated as he approached the conference room, unplugging the wires from his phone. "So I can't talk to you."

_Gotcha._

Zack shoved the headphones into one of the many pockets in his pants before he walked into the room, giving a cheerful salute to the Director before pausing because Angeal wasn't there.

"Angeal has his mako injections today, so he will not be going with you on this mission," Lazard explained at the questioning look on his face.

Zack blinked. "Okay, then. What's the mission?"

"A few dragons from the mountains have wandered a bit too close for our liking, and we would like you to either force them back or dispose of them. It's an A-rank mission, at most."

Zack balked. "_Dragons_?" Oh, don't get him wrong, he was psyched. But the things was, it was drag_ons_. _Plural_. As in, _more than one_. It would have taken him a while to kill _one_ dragon, let alone_ more _than one.

_I never got this mission!_ Fair was complaining. _Freaking _dragons!_ What the heck, that sounds awesome!_

Zack ignored him of course, "Sir, I'm not qualified to go an A-rank by myself-"

"You won't be going alone," Lazard interrupted. "General Sephiroth will be going with you."

Zack blinked in surprise and turned to look at glowing, mako-green cat-slit eyes.

"Sir," he began in surprise, saluting.

_Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?_Fair threatened when he snapped to attention.

"At ease," Sephiroth told him, and Zack relaxed with a grin. Sephiroth moved to stand beside him and finished explaining the mission. "It should take around a day, at most. There are reported to be three dragons, but they are hiding in the forests so there may be more. We will leave at ten-hundred hours by van." Green eyes shifted to meet Zack's. "Any problems?"

"No, sir."

_You asked for it,_ Fair told him, before letting lose this terrible, loud, annoying as _fuck _noise that sounding like the blaring of a car horn mixed with the laughter of a thousand dying dwarves.

Zack was immediately cringing, unable to resist raising a hand to his head as the noise bounced around his skull about as gently as thumbtacks.

"Fair?" Lazard rose an eyebrow. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he tried to smile briefly. "Just a headache."

God, he wasn't _stopping!_

It occurred to Zack that since Fair was already dead, it wouldn't hurt to just not breathe.

"Will you be able to go on the mission?" Sephiroth asked as he looked him over, probably thinking his recent, uh, tumble was still affecting him.

"Yes!" Zack said quickly. Come on, Fair's general idiocy or not, he was not missing going on a mission to kill dragons with Sephiroth. "It will be over soon, just give it a few seconds."

Fair stopped suddenly, leaving Zack's ears ringing, apparently satisfied that Zack hadn't said "sir."

"It's gone," Zack stated slightly warily as he lowered his hand, internally seething.

Sephiroth looked at him for a few more seconds, eyebrow raised. Zack stared back at him confusedly, so Sephiroth clarified, "I'd rather not defend myself from a bloodthirsty Angeal if something was wrong with you and I didn't do anything about it."

"I'm fine," Zack said with a grin, not daring to say "sir."

Sephiroth hummed before nodding. "Then meet me at the steps of the Shinra building at the stated time. You are dismissed."

Zack knew that was fancy, upper-rank talk for "go away, now," so he did just that and left the room with one last salute.

_You know, he talks like a mission report,_ Fair was musing, apparently caught up in his revelation enough that he didn't react to the salute or realize the way Zack was walking determinedly towards the materia fusion room, which happened to have rather suggestive noises coming from it for some reason. _But, anyways, freaking dragons! Why aren't you more exci- _DEAR SHIVA THAT IS DISGUSTING!

Zack, having looked away so he wouldn't see the two rather unattractive scientists going at it on the fusion machine before he even opened the door, backed away and allowed the door to close on their horrified faces as he grinned victoriously

_You did that on purpose!_ Fair accused. _Ugh, my _eyes!

"Wanna see the nastiest thing in the world?" Zack asked sarcastically.

**-xXx-**

"Cloud!" Zack said happily when he saw the blonde cadet standing around the steps of the building.

_Chocobo!_ Fair replied just as cheerfully.

The blonde nervously smiled back. "Hey, Zack." He blinked down at the uniform in surprise. "You're a 2nd?"

"Yep!" Zack puffed up proudly as he came to stand in front of him. "You didn't know?"

"Well, I knew you were SOLDIER from your eyes," Cloud said. "But I didn't know what class."

_Oh, yeah, you were wearing civilian clothes when you met him,_Fair stated.

"Oh. Well, yep, I'm a 2nd!" Zack grinned. "So, what are you doing over here?" He glanced down at the truck. He couldn't see Sephiroth, yet, and he had twenty minutes, so he figured it was okay to chat for a few.

"Sort of an in-field class session," Cloud answered, looking at the same van Zack was. "It's a new idea. To see if we're okay with the gore and stuff before they even continue training us any more."

_They're just kids,_ Fair complained. _And they're sticking them in a battlefield? What the heck are they gonna defend themselves with if they get attacked, their _books_?_

Zack furrowed his eyebrows. "That doesn't sound like a very good idea," he said honestly. "Especially when you think about your safety and the completion of the mission."

"That's what I thought," Cloud sighed nervously. "I mean, I have good enough grades in Sword Tactics and Hand-to-Hand class, but I've never done anything outside of training. I heard the mission they tagged me on was A-rank," he frowned.

Zack's eyes widened.

_Oh, shit,_Fair sighed.

"What did they tell you?" the SOLDIER asked.

"Just to meet two SOLDIERS at the steps of the Shinra building," Cloud shrugged. He jerked his thumb over to two infantry men near the van. "I'm supposed to stay near them."

Zack gaped. "You're on my mission."

Cloud lit up at that. "Cool!"

"General Sephiroth and I are fighting three or more dragons," Zack went on.

_Titles!_Fair warned.

Cloud did an odd impersonation if a fish at Sephiroth's name, his face going from red to white a few times before adding green to the mix at the mention of dragons.

_Christmas colors!_ Fair cheered.

**-xXXXx-**

**We had a Christmas parade today :D I somehow got more candy than I did at Halloween. What the heck?**

**Anyways, as promised, here is your side story. I'm not very proud of it, probably because I couldn't come up with anything witty enough in a few places, but I wanted to do things from Fair's point of view for a change so...**

**~Side~**

"You know," Fair began, laying on his back with the pool of water above his head. He had his hands resting behind his head as he stared up into the vast white nothingness.

_Hm? _his younger self's voice resonated from said pool. Zack was sitting in his mentor's office waiting for Angeal to finish up a few papers so they could go on their mission.

"I think there is a different requirement aside from being more "aware of yourself" that decides if you get absorbed into the lifestream."

_And that would be?_Zack asked curiously. It wasn't often that Fair would tell him about his current residency of the Lifestream.

"I think it's if you won't go insane from staring at _nothing but white light_ for the rest of eternity," Fair pouted, rolling over onto his stomach so he could stare at the white there. He would have thought he was looking up had it not been for feeling the ground and seeing the very thin strip of dirt and grass that surrounded the pool. "I mean, even the _ground's_ white. And there aren't any walls. It's either that or you have to be some kind of important character in somebody's game or something."

_Didn't your girlfriend make a flower garden?_ Zack asked. _There's gotta be a trick to making things._

"Well, she's special," Fair pouted. "I don't think I'd be able to make anything."

_Well, there's no harm in trying._

Fair, propped his chin up on his folded arms and looked down into the pool. "I guess I could. I have no clue how, though." He thought for a minute, then said randomly, "Do you know how _much _I want chocolate cake? I haven't had the stuff in seven years." It wasn't really random, actually, considering he's been craving it bad for the past like five years.

_Blasphemy,_Zack gasped dramatically.

Fair pouted again. It's not like spirits needed to eat, of course, but that didn't stop him from remembering taste of the moist, dark triple chocolate cake with chocolate icing in between the two layers and surrounding the cake in a wonderful triple-chocolatey amazingness-

"Holy crap!" he jumped, and Zack jumped, too, at the exclamation.

_What is it?_

"A freaking chocolate cake!" Fair replied enthusiastically, holding up the baker's box as if to show him though Zack couldn't see him. "What the hell!"

_It just popped up out of nowhere?_Zack asked confusedly.

"Well, I was thinking really descriptive thoughts and it just happened, but who cares!" Fair grinned and tore open the box to demolish the cake.

_I thought only living things went there,_Zack wondered.

"If they can die," Fair shrugged.

_So the cake died? Does that mean someone killed it? Ew, I bet you're eating a cake someone over here already ate._

Fair paused. "Mini-me, don't make me attempt to come out there and beat you for trying to ruin my perfectly wondrous moment."

_Okay, okay, just saying... Oh, look, people._

Fair peeked over and watched as Genesis marched into Angeal's office and announced, _Angeal, we are doing this because we love you._

"Seph looks like the epitome of enthusiasm," Fair noted sarcastically, fingers covered in icing because he didn't have a fork. Sephiroth glanced at Zack as he walked in, but Genesis went to stand directly in front of Angeal's desk and apparently didn't notice Zack at all.

Zack was going to reply, but Genesis' comment about him made him pause.

"Hey, it's not like we decide to poison him every now and then or something," Fair defended, frowning. They both watched as Genesis gave reasons as to why Angeal would be less stressed without a pupil and Angeal gave a perfect solution for each.

Genesis finally noticed Zack behind him and whipped around and gaping at him while Zack cranked up the puppy look to level 4. _I'm not that bad, am I?_

Fair would be lying if he said he didn't get any enjoyment out of watching the 1st splutter like that.

Genesis turned back around to accuse his two friends, and Sephiroth smiled lightly when he rounded on him. _I wanted to see your reaction._

"Oh, Seph," Fair said fondly. "He's such a troll." But then he frowned when Genesis told his younger self to hush. "Jeez, you didn't even do anything. Does he have something against you?"

_I don't know,_ Zack replied with a grin, finding the whole thing funny. _Probably._

_Has that thing been on this whole time? _Genesis demanded.

"It's not on at all," Fair said snarkily. "Has that stick been up your ass this whole time?"

Fair would say Zack did a rather commendable job in restraining his laughter.

"Sorry. It's just he's always been kind of an asshole to me."

_And what's so funny?_ Genesis snapped.

_Things that would get me written up for repeating,_ Zack replied casually. _He's playing Mario. And losing. And his rants are hilarious. He says 'hi,' by the way._

"Nice cover up."

_Thanks!_

_It must be a teen thing,_ Angeal sighed. He's always on his phone nowadays.

_I'm sure he'll grow out of it,_ Sephiroth told him. _Genesis, calm down. Not everyone here is insane._

"The hell they aren't," Fair accused. "You guys each have more issues than all the cheap magazines at a convenience store _combined_."

Zack was laughing again and drew a few looks.

Sephiroth just sighed, _Let's go, Genesis..._**  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

_Fair talking_

"People talking"

'People thinking'

**-xXXXx**

The trip to the eastern mountains on the other side of the wasteland was... awkward, to put it bluntly.

Zack didn't know Sephiroth enough to start a conversation, and he figured that if he tried talking to Cloud then the cadet's previous lunch would take a nice trip to say a cheerful hello to them all.

Sarcasm? Yes.

Putting his headphones in so he could talk to Fair seemed a bit inappropriate considering they were on a mission and it wouldn't really look good if Sephiroth saw that he had something as unnecessary as headphones while on said mission. So Zack was stuck listening to Fair make one-sided conversations while struggling not to react to some of his comments and listening to the infantrymen converse up at the front of the van.

Sephiroth had been from what Zack could tell angry and annoyed at Cloud being put on the mission. He was polite enough to Cloud, of course, as it was hardly his fault (Zack had a feeling the poor cadet would have been devastated if Sephiroth was upset with him), but he _did_ call Lazard to chew him out.

_I almost forgot he had motion sickness,_ Fair stated suddenly, and Zack blinked at Cloud, who was sitting hunched over with a hand clasped to his mouth, eyes shut tightly. _It's weird cuz when he's older he has this fucking _awesome_ bike he can ride like a pro._

Zack would have said something, but again, he was afraid Cloud would hurl, so they were all glad when they finally got to the edge of the wastelands and out of the cramped van. Sephiroth's long-ass sword didn't even fit and had to be awkwardly maneuvered around the seats and partway out the passenger window.

_Compensation,_ Fair coughed oh-so-discreetly.

Cloud seemed much better now that he was on stable ground, but he was still rather nervous.

"Just keep near the infantrymen," Zack told him with a grin. "And out of their line of fire, of course."

_Yeah, I think Gaia has had enough to do with Holy. We don't need a Holey Cloud, too._

"Oh, the puns," Zack lamented. "I can never get them because he doesn't explain them."

Cloud made a face. "What?"

"Fair has recently acquired a habit of talking to himself," Sephiroth explained as he passed.

_Oh, if only he knew,_ Fair sighed.

**-xXx-**

Actually tracking the dragons turned out to be as big of a pain as the ride there. The dragons had apparently been all_ over_ the fucking place, so they couldn't tell which set of tracks was newest, which way they had gone, or how many there was.

_Maybe they were having a dance,_ Fair put cheerfully.

"This. Is. Pointless!" Zack sighed dramatically. "Can't we just go charging in and cutting stuff up? We don't even know if they're still here."

"They can't be too far," Sephiroth objected, glancing at him from his kneeled position beside a large footprint about as long as he was tall. "These tracks are somewhat fresh."

"But where did they go?"

The words echoed somewhat in the empty clearing filled with craters where trees had been burned or ripped up. And it was a good question. If anything, it almost seemed like the dragons were here for weeks, then suddenly decided to haul ass out of there.

_GO, Go, go..go..._ Fair echoed ominously.

"Stop that."

"Um, sirs...?" Cloud, way over by the infantrymen, called timidly.

"Yep?" Zack called back cheerfully, while Sephiroth merely looked at him.

"Um, where I come from, dragons are a normal thing," he began uncomfortably, obviously trying not to fidget when the General looked at him.

_He's so adorable!_ Fair cooed.

Sephiroth stood up then. "Go on?"

Cloud coughed a little before continuing. "There are four," he told them, gesturing at the tracks. "An adult male, two adult females-one of which is most likely pregnant- and a younger dragon." He glanced at a fiery log about twenty feet from him. "They had to have been here within the past hour. They probably left when they heard us coming."

Zack whistled appreciatively, and Sephiroth rose his eyebrows.

_Since when was he our resident expert?_ Fair wondered.

"Can you guess why they're here?" Sephiroth asked.

Cloud looked around again and shrugged. "They don't migrate, and they prefer to keep near their caves. So their nest was probably disturbed."

Sephiroth suddenly paused and looked towards one of the mountains, a direction in which most of the tracks in the clearing were facing away from. Then he sighed rather angrily, looking back towards the rest of the group and pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache.

_Oh, yeah!_ Fair said, obviously having some sort of epiphany.

"What?" Zack asked them both.

"The President has decided he wants a mountain retreat close to home," Sephiroth explained. "I'm sure the construction site was closer to the nest than the dragons would have liked."

Suddenly the sound of an explosion rang through the clearing, muffled and echoing, as if the source came from the mountains. The all turned to look as a small column of fire shot up from the side of a mountain, and an angry roar bellowed after the sound of the blast.

Sephiroth blinked as if surprised. "Well."

"Much closer than they would have liked," Cloud sighed.

"Did someone bring marshmellows?" Zack wondered, watching the explosion with barely contained excitement. Hey, arson was an interest he picked up from Reno.

_Burn, baby, burn!_ Fair laughed gleefully, pyrotechnic tendencies obviously not forgotten even after several years.

"I suppose we should go take care of that," Sephiroth sighed as he started towards the mountain.

_But it's so pretty!_

"Are we _walking_?" Zack asked incredulously, pulling out his PHS. "Cuz I know a Turk with keys to a helicopter."

Cloud, whose face displayed the same reluctance to walk seven miles uphill that Zack was feeling, looked rather hopefully at the General.

Sephiroth paused for a moment before sitting down on a fallen log and crossing his arms. "I suppose we can let it burn. It might teach them not to build vacation homes in dragon-infested mountains."

_Bad Sephy, don't follow my example of watching things burn for the fun of it. Bad things happen when someone gives you a fire materia._

"Sweet," Zack grinned, with his phone already up to his ear.

"Ooh," Cloud murmured in fascination as another flame shot up into the air.

**-xXx-**

"You owe me, big time," Reno grumbled, peering through the glass of the helicopter at the mountain. He glanced to the side as Zack, perched uncomfortably between him and Sephiroth, made to push an interesting-looking button, and, forgoing the _normal_ response of either slapping his hand or telling him not to touch anything, flipped out a knife and tried to stab him. Interestingly enough, it had the same effect.

"Goddamned Turk," Zack grumbled, narrowly missing the jab and rubbing the back of his hand.

"Please don't be stupid, Zack," Sephiroth sighed. "I'd rather my SOLDIERs not be shown up by _Turks_."

"Oh, look at this," Reno said mused loudly. "A _Turk_ just found a_ lovely_ little button that says _Passenger Eject_..."

"Oh, look at this," Sephiroth replied. "I've just found a seven-foot sword I like to run people through with."

"You know, I get the feeling there is a little animosity between the SOLDIERs and Turks," Zack mused seriously.

"You don't say!" Reno gasped, while Sephiroth just gave him a 'Really?' look.

_God, I'm stupid._

Zack just scowled at them all.

"Urk," Cloud hiccuped in the back, an awful shade of green.

"I. Will. **End**. You," Reno warned the cadet darkly.

Sephiroth rather looked like he would prefer to jump and walk the rest of the way.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

_Fair talking_

"People talking"

'People thinking'

**-xXXXx-**

"You know, maybe if we give them a sacrificial chocobo..." Zack began, looking at Cloud thoughtfully. The cadet narrowed his eyes at him.

"How about an overgrown hedgehog?" he asked innocently. Reno snorted.

"They'll hear us," Sephiroth said pointedly, shooting a frown over his shoulder. They were all crouched in a cave where the garage of the vacation home was supposed to go, halfway hidden behind a clump of large rocks as they ed the four dragons wreak havoc.

"Or a kitty?" Reno asked, gesturing to the General. At the confused look, he motioned to his cat-slit eyes for emphasis.

"I'm sure they'll find man-whore much more tasty," Sephiroth murmured.

_Daaaamn,_ Fair snickered. Reno glared daggers at the man. The baby dragon started charging out of nowhere and jumped on top of a truck to claw at it as if it had insulted him.

_The thing's bipolar._

"Were they really gonna fit just one garage in this huge-ass cave?" Zack wondered, looking around. You could have fit an olympic-sized swimming pool in the place.

"Mini-golf," Reno explained.

"Couldn't they have put that _outside_?" Zack asked.

Reno shrugged. "Monsters, yo."

"Which again shows he needs a better construction planner," Sephiroth grumbled. "I'll be damned if he tries to pull me out of work to escort him here every three months..."

"We can let the rest of it burn," Zack put in helpfully.

"We still have to get rid of the dragons."

"Speaking of dragons, sirs," Cloud, who had been silent most of the time, squeaked, pointing over one of the strangely rounded boulders. "I think it heard us."

And, indeed, one of the dragons (a female, from what Cloud said) was sticking it's head into the cave. They all immediately ducked down behind the boulders as a jet of flame shot into the cave.

"Strife!" Reno scolded over the roar of the fire. "You and your big mouth!"

"I didn't say anything!" Cloud cried indignantly.

"Stay here," Zack told the blonde, getting ready to dart out as soon as the fire stopped.

_Oh, shit,_ Fair gasped, distracting Zack as the torrent finally stopped. _They're dead._

"What?" Zack asked.

_Sephiroth's_ hair.

Zack blinked. "What?"

He looked over at the General, who was flat-out gaping at his own hair, which had about an entire foot burned off one side.

Zack's mouth fell open, as did everyone else's there. "Oh. _Fuck._"

Sephiroth blinked, impersonating a fish for a few moments as he stared at his hair.

"It'll grow back?" Zack weakly tried to reassure him.

"Um, sirs?" Cloud began shakily.

Sephiroth's green eyes flashed dangerously before he took a very controlled breath, raising a hand to his temple.

"I want to kill it," he muttered angrily, ignoring how the dragon was slowly progressing into the cave.

"Guys?" Cloud asked again, nervously eying the entrance of the cave.

"There, there," Reno told Sephiroth, patting his shoulder and dodging the swipe at his head.

"We can fix it when we get home," Zack told the General, not noticing the dragon only on the other side of the boulders.

"Sir," Cloud tried a little more firmly. "The drag-"

"Now, Cloud," Zack said, "You gotta be a little more quiet or it'll find us."

"Oh, for Shiva's sake!" Cloud snapped, wrenching Zack's sword from his back and sending the 2nd stumbling before pointing the sword at the dragon, activating the materia stored in said sword, and barking, "Blizzara!"

The SOLDIERs blinked in surprise as the dragon stumbled from the cave, roaring in indignation and trying to shake off the ice coating its face.

"Do your job, please," Cloud huffed, thrusting the sword back to Zack.

"Um, thanks," Zack spluttered.

Haha! Told ya he'd go small-town on you!

"Well done, cadet," Sephiroth mumbled, just as surprised.

"I think it would be a good idea to take out the dragon trying to kill us, now," Reno muttered, taking out his rarely-used gun.

_Hey, this cave doesn't look too stable,_ Fair put in worriedly.

"Nah, we're fine," Zack told him.

**-xXx-**

"I know you just didn't say 'we're fine,'" Reno began darkly. "Did you, Zack? Is that what you just said?"

"Um," Zack gulped.

_I still don't see what you did differently that made you get a mission where you track and fight dragons with Sephiroth, Cloud and Reno, visit what would have been Shinra's vacation home, and get caved in what would have been an underground mini-golf course_, Fair said conversationally.

"I'm taking a vacation when we get back," Sephiroth declared to the ceiling, his green eyes glowing eerily in the pitch black darkness. On the other side of the wall of crumbled rocks, the dragons roared angrily.

"They are really pissed off," Cloud noted.

"Really?" Reno asked as the walls shook when the dragons threw themselves against the cave. "I couldn't tell at all, yo."

"I meant more than they should be, asshole," Cloud snapped, shy little cadet persona having been completely dropped when he realized how long they might be stuck in the cave.

_I think I'd be more worried about him,_ Fair snickered.

"And what crawled up your ass and died?" Reno sneered.

There was the sound of someone smacking something, probably the stone, before Cloud's surprisingly scary voice spoke up. "I was stuck in some Gaia-forsaken, middle-of-nowhere, _bumfuck_ mountain town for _fifteen years too long_, and I'll be _damned_ if I'm stuck in this cave for more than _absolutely necessary._"

"Okay, we need to calm down," Zack interrupted, holding up his hands in a pacifying manner in the direction he was pretty sure Reno and Cloud were in, "Going at each others throats isn't going to get us anywhere. Sir," he added quietly to Sephiroth, who was easy to spot since his glowing green eyes blinked at Zack owlishly. "Help?"

"...No, I'm too amused at seeing one of my cadets fight with Sinclair."

"But, sir, if they _do_ start fighting-"

"Then I'll stop them. This entire mission has been a pain, Zackary, a little entertainment wouldn't kill."

Zack just sighed, leaning against the warm boulder. After being blasted by dragon fire, the rock actually felt kinda nice when you'd been on a chilly mountain for a few hours.

_Wanna play 'I spy?'_

Zack scowled, "Now, you know there's no way in hell we can play that."

Reno and Cloud were too busy arguing to notice him talking to himself, and Sephiroth was somewhat used to it so he just ignored him.

_Yes there is! See, I spy somethiiiing... white!_

Zack scowled again. "You know damn well I can't see the lifestream."

_Okay, okay!_ Fair muttered._ I spy something... green!_

Zack glanced at Sephiroth's amused eyes, which were trained towards Reno and Cloud.

"Obvious."

_I spy something black?_

"I'm not even going to respond..."

"Where are the infantrymen?" Cloud belatedly wondered.

"Eh, they're unimportant characters that are so unnecessary the author forgot to write in what they're doing," Reno shrugged. "We can just assume they got trapped under the rocks in the cave-in." He suddenly looked up at you through the monitor, even though he couldn't exactly see you. "Stop laughing at our misfortune," he commanded.

"Stop breaking the fourth wall," Cloud complained, and they immediately started fighting again.

"I'd appreciate it if you would stop shaking the rock, Fair," Sephiroth stated, and Zack glanced at him confusedly.

"I'm not, sir," he said, then looked towards the other people, "Whoever's moving the rocks, stop it."

"We're nowhere near the rocks," Reno's voice spoke up. Zack frowned when he felt The boulder he was leaning against shake.

_Have I ever told you that you have amazing luck?_ Fair asked sarcastically.

"Huh?"

"Ohhh, shit," Cloud muttered, and Zack heard him creep towards the boulders and assumed he was feeling them. "...I found out why they're so mad."

"We're leaning against dragon eggs, aren't we?" Sephiroth sighed.

"Yes, sir."

"Goddamnit."


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

_Fair talking_

"People talking"

'People thinking'

**-xXXXx-**

Luckily, they had managed to find a log they could burn and use as a torch, and were currently looking around the cave for a way out.

Zack glanced at the eggs when they started shaking again. "How long do you think we have until the little dears wake up and start calling us, 'Mama?'"

_Or start eating the flesh from your face? Half an hour, I don't know,_ Fair mentally shrugged.

"About twenty minutes," Cloud called casually.

_Eh, I was close._

"Well, fuck," Reno sighed. Sephiroth was staring contemplatively at the wall of rubble blocking the entrance. It shook every now and then as the dragons threw themselves against the cave.

"I'm gonna name the middle one Happy," Zack declared.

_And we can call you Dopey,_ Fair scoffed.

"They aren't pets, Zackary, and we are certainly not keeping them," Sephiroth stated calmly, peering at a rock near the edge of the entrance.

"Hey, it could be like a mascot," Zack continued. "And the Turks' mascot can be a moogle. Hey, Cloud?" he called to the blonde. "Who do you think would win in a fight? A dragon or a moogle?"

"Screw you, Fair," Reno snapped.

_I didn't do anything!_

Zack snorted.

"You think this is _funny?_" the Turk snarled, turning around and brandishing his torch in a threatening manner. "I'm not supposed to _be_ here, yo. I have a goddamn _mission_ in the morning. I took that heli without a written consent, because I'm a _damn good friend_. Do you even know what that means, yo? It means if that copter gets messed up, Veld is going to fucking_ shoot_ me."

As if on cue, there was the sound of could only have been the helicopter exploding, preceded shortly by the screeching of metal being torn, and Reno looked absolutely horrified. Cloud indifferently brushed off the dust that fell when the cave shook. Sephiroth prodded at a large rock that had shifted.

"I'm fired," Reno choked, going very pale.

"That's not so bad," Zack shrugged, having watched Reno's rant in silent amusement.

"In the Turks, getting fired means eating lead," Reno growled. "And I am _NEVER_. giving you a lift in my off time again."

Cloud watched, partly-interested, as Sephiroth started shoving at a boulder.

"Fair, come here," he grunted.

_See, this is another reason I want you to be on a first-name basis with people,_ Fair stated. _It would stop me from thinking Sephy's hearing more than one voice._

"Is it that heavy?" Zack wondered as he wandered over to the General. Sephiroth should have been able to get it by himself.

"Stand right there," he directed, and Zack did as told, "No, I'd just rather not be hit by falling rocks."

"Oh, so they'll hit me first?" Zack sighed as Sephiroth started shoving again.

"That's the plan," Sephiroth mumbled sarcastically. The rock shifted, and Zack knocked away any rocks that would have hit them. Light peaked out from the hole Sephiroth has discovered, sending a light through the cave that seemed blue in comparison to the red of the torches.

"I can move it any more," the General stated, warily watching the rest of the rubble. "It might cave in again."

"We can't fit through that," Reno sighed, coming near and crouching beside the crack.

_Cloud could,_ Fair mused.

"Cloud can," Zack echoed cheerfully. They all looked at the cadet, who puffed angrily up almost like a chocobo would.

"And you would if we cut you up into a few pieces," Cloud snapped.

"I like his style," Sephiroth declared, but then looked at Cloud closely. "Honestly though, Zack's right."

"What." Cloud deadpanned, forgetting for a moment that Sephiroth was his superior officer.

The General rose an eyebrow as Zack's mouth dropped open at Sephiroth actually considering his idea (which had been a_ JOKE_).

"It would probably land you a field promotion," he said. "And the barracks certainly aren't a comfortable place to live. I can see to it that you get your own room somewhere in the building. All you have to do is get outside, get to the truck, and use the radio there to get help."

Cloud slowly furrowed his eyebrows. "You _do_ know that would take a few hours, right?" He glanced over his shoulder. "The eggs are going to hatch in like, ten minutes."

_Is he actually _considering_ it?_ Fair gaped.

"We can take care of a few baby dragons," Sephiroth shrugged.

Cloud narrowed his eyes. "...I want access to the SOLDIER mess hall, too. If I have to eat in the school's mess again I'll die from whatever the hell kind of malboro they're serving this week."

Sephiroth smirked. "Deal."

_I wonder what the hell Gaia was thinking when she chose someone who had to be _bribed_ to save lives as the "Chosen One."_

Cloud shrugged and started taking off the bulky unnecessary gear he had on, figuring the easier it was to get through the crack, the faster he got out and away from rampaging dragons. "You better have some sort of diversion to get them away from the cave for a few seconds."

Sephiroth paused for a few seconds in thought before nodding. "I have an idea."

**-xXx-**

"You are a terrible person," Zack declared, pouting at Sephiroth, who shrugged and had his arm shoved through the crack up to his shoulder.

"I never use it," he defended.

"It still has feelings," Zack complained.

"Why do you even _carry_ it?" Reno wondered. Cloud was switching around materia in the bracer he had been lent, crouched beside Sephiroth and prepared to dive into the hole.

"For this exact reason," Sephiroth replied. "Are you ready, cadet?"

Cloud looked up from the materia. "Yes, sir." He hesitated, some of the shy persona coming back for a moment. "Are you sure this will work?"

"Pretty sure," Sephiroth replied. His hand felt the edge of the cave and he smirked before using his ChocoMog summon and yanking his hand out.

"Pretty sure-?" Cloud gulped.

"Go!" Sephiroth snapped, nearly shoving the cadet through.

"_THE HELL_!" Cloud roared along with the dragons as a terrified squeak and wark sounded from the other side of the wall.

"Crawl, chocobo, crawl!" Zack shouted. Reno had fallen over in hysterics. Another wark sounded. "And the other chocobo! Run, chocobo, run!"

_Maybe...this _is_ it's purpose,_ Fair mused seriously.

"To act as bait to lure four angry dragons away?" Zack asked angrily.

_Probably. Shiva knows I never used the thing in a battle._

They could still hear Cloud cussing as he wormed his way through to the other side until the light shone through again.

"You haven't been turned into KFC, have you?" Zack called through, worried.

"KFC?" Sephiroth asked.

"Kalm Fried Chocobo?"

An angry burst of Thunder shot through the hole, aimed slightly at Sephiroth, who merely leaned back out of the way with a smirk.

"Very nice, though you should work on your aim, cadet," he called with a smirk.

"It's not cadet anymore, sir, remember?" Cloud sneered. "Wanna be my target for practice?"

"Oh, yes, it's _private_, now. And maybe when you aren't surrounded by dragons," Sephiroth replied lightly. "You should probably head for cover now..."

Cloud cursed again before he was gone, and Zack watched through the hole to make sure the dragons didn't see him. He could still hear the chocobo and the moogle freaking out, and, mainly surprised they were still _alive_, figured the dragons had not noticed Cloud.

"Oh," Sephiroth sighed as the eggs started to hatch.

"Hey, Reno," Zack called, still watching the dragons.

"What, now?" Reno sighed, tapping at the egg impatiently.

"About that mascot battle? Yeah, the dragon's totally winning."

"Shut up, Zack," both Reno and Sephiroth ordered.

**-xXXXx-**

**Eh, this isn't one of my better chapters. But, hey, the muses will do that kind of evil thing to you.**

**Guess what! I got a 3DS for Christmas and I'm currently obsessed with The World Ends With You! I wanted to play this game because the characters are going to be in the new Kingdom Hearts game coming out (which now has an eight-minute long trailer that is fucking AMAZINGG), but I swear, even if they weren't going to be in KHDDD I'm glad I played this game.**

**Question: What did you get for Christmas that you are most psyched about? Unless you don't celebrate Christmas, so since it is the end of 2011, what is the best gift you have gotten this year?**

**Well, I won't be updating till next year ;) **

**So Happy New Years!  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Final Fantasy or its characters.**

_Fair talking_

"People talking"

'People thinking'

**-xXXXx-**

Incoming transmission:

Subject: Number 012

Status: Subject was supposedly caved in. Uninjured as of last transmission.

Location: Last detected in Midgar Mountain Range; Coordinates are 23.2N, 31.5E

Location Details: -Inhabited by Red Dragons during summer months (Red Dragons- extremely territorial) -Nearly inaccessible via ground transport -Rock formations consist mainly of conglomerate and shale (soft rocks); unsuitable location for excavation

_Activate Tracking Device?_

**-xXx-**

"...Does anyone hear a beeping noise?" Zack asked suddenly. One of the baby dragons jumped on him and started tugging at his shirt playfully. Zack frowned and brushed it off. "Stop that, you'll rip it."

"No," Sephiroth sighed, allowing the second baby dragon to perch precariously on the dull side of Masamune with its wings spread for balance. The two-foot dragon leapt off, apparently trying to fly, only to manage gliding across the cave. "You have to _flap_ your wings," Sephiroth unecessarily instructed it.

"What about you?" Zack asked Reno, who was sitting indian style and poking at the third and final dragon with his EMR (with the electricity off, of course). The baby was fighting valiantly against the metal stick of doom.

"Nope," Reno replied. The dragon leapt onto the rod and gnawed on it viciously, and Reno gently shook it off.

_I don't hear anything_, Fair put in.

"Strange, I could swear I hear this beeping in the back of my head," Zack mumbled, allowing his dragon to clambor over him.

"You know, they're kinda like puppies," Reno stated when the dragon nuzzled him affectionately.

"I wouldn't know," Sephiroth said. His dragon was trying to climb back up him again, apparently wanting to be back on Masamune.

"You never had a dog?" Zack asked. His dragon sneezed and briefly lit his pants on fire. "OhShit!"

Sephiroth rose an eyebrow at him. "I never had a place to keep one."

"You must have been one deprived kid, yo," Reno remarked.

_The sad thing is, he doesn't know how right he is,_ Fair sighed.

**-xXx-**

Meanwhile, Cloud was having his own fun with the young dragon that had followed him.

"Oh, no you don't," he growled when it hissed threateningly at him, shifting around the bracer he had on. It was the only weapon he had, aside from a small knife that most likely wouldn't get him anywhere.

A quick and well-aimed blizzara sealed the dragon's mouth shut with ice, successfully taking care of it most powerful attacks, and Cloud leapt to pin the large-dog-sized dragon down as it shook its head manically to try to remove said ice.

A few minutes later and the dragon was pinned down to the ground with large rocks trapping its wings, still silenced by the ice on its muzzle. Cloud felt a little bad, because it was hardly the dragon's fault they were in this situation, but he told himself he'd free it before they left the mountain.

He forgot about its tail, which gave him a rather painful thwack on the back of the head, and he glowered at the almost smug look on the dragon.

"Don't make me reconsider letting you go," he warned, quickly ducking when the tail made another swipe at him.

**-xXx-**

"I wonder if Cloud's okay," Zack worried aloud. His dragon, clinging to his back, was pumping its wings furiously, apparently wanting him to go somewhere and, from the right angle, making Zack look like some kind of insane bat.

_Aww, it wants a piggy-back ride!_ Fair cooed.

"I'm sure he's fine," Sephiroth brushed off his concerns. "The older dragons didn't see him and he doesn't seem to be the type to lose easily to the other monsters around here."

"You're forgetting he isn't trained like us," Zack frowned. "He only has an ice, bolt, and cure materia. What if he runs out of MP?"

"KFC?" Reno supplied with a grin. Zack grimaced at him and threw a rock. Zack's dragon started growling at Reno's, who was snarling at Zack for throwing something at his 'Mama.'

"Not much sibling affection," Sephiroth noted.

From outside, the terrified noises of ChocoMog continued, and Zack finally sighed and went to Sephiroth to take the summon's materia.

"I think that's enough," he stated. The General shrugged indifferently and Zack shoved his arm through the hole and un-summoned the poor animals.

A low growling reached his ears (past that infernal beeping), and he yelped, "SHIVA!" before diving out of the way of a jet of flame. The three baby dragons roared in outrage (which sounded much closer to squeaking, actually) and each puffed off a pitiful-sized flame in retaliation. The General patted his dragon on the head approvingly.

Reno eyed the man warily, looking between him and the dragon he was allowing to curl up beside him.

"You know, I really don't think Lazard will let you bring home a dragon, yo," the Turk remarked.

"I never said I was bringing him home," Sephiroth stated loftily. "Though if I did, I don't see who could stop me."

Zack blinked at them. "A pet dragon would be freaking _awesome."_

_Oh, hell yea!_ Fair agreed.

"Don't encourage him," Reno complained, frowning at Zack.

"If Rufus Shinra can have a Guard Hound as a pet," Sephiroth shrugged. "I don't see why I couldn't have a dragon."

"Dark Nation is three feet tall," Reno deadpanned. "That's as big as he's ever gonna get, yo. Your dragon here'll get to be the size of the President's damn office."

"Details," Sephiroth brushed them aside.

_Seph can be somewhat spoiled,_ Fair remarked. _I don't think Reno knows that him saying Sephiroth can't have the dragon makes him want to keep it even more._

"Where would he put it?" Zack wondered.

_Plenty of room in the wastelands!_ Fair chirped. _Also, there's Sector 0, but that would be kind of hard to get to._

"What's that?"

_Eh, secret place you're not supposed to know about, so don't go asking questions!_

"The President would never let you keep it!" Reno was still arguing. There was an odd glint in Sephiroth's eyes.

_Oh, yep, Reno just sealed the deal. You're coming home with a dragon now._

"Sweet," Zack grinned.

**-xXx-**

Back at the Shinra Building, one 2nd Class SOLDIER Kunsel Insertlastnamehere was speaking about the current whereabouts of his friend to the Director of SOLDIER.

"So you believe they are in need of help," Lazard stated finally after listening to Kunsel's worries.

"Yes, sir," Kunsel nodded.

Lazard rose an eyebrow. "Even though the General is with them?"

Kunsel cringed. "Yes, sir."

The eyebrow rose further. "And you know this...how?"

"What chip?" Kunsel flinched, a nervous smile on his face. "I don't know anything about a tracking chip I implanted into Zack's head one time when he was passed out. _No_ clue what you are talking about, sir, none at all.

Lazard stared at him, and Kunsel started sweating bullets, before Lazard finally shrugged and turned to his desk.

"I'll send in a call," he said, picking up his phone. "If neither Fair nor the General answer I'll ask the Director of the Turks to send in an agent."

Kunsel sighed in relief.

**-xXx-**

"I'm hungry," Zack complained.

_I'm not!_ Fair said brightly.

"You _can't_ be," Zack complained.

"We could eat roast dragon," Reno mused, looking thoughtfully at one of the babies. Sephiroth narrowed his eyes as Reno happened to be looking at _his_ dragon and fingered the hilt of Masamune warningly. Reno looked away rather quickly.

"We've been waiting for _hours_," Zack continued to moan. "Where is Cloud?"

"It would take at least an hour to get to the truck," Sephiroth said. "And then he has to get past the monsters. We'll probably be here for another hour before we get out of here."

"Veld's gonna kill me," Reno whined. "I'll be late at this rate."

"I'm sure you'd be late anyways," Sephiroth sighed.

"Bug off," Reno grumbled.

"The beeping's getting louder," Zack noted.

"I can hear it, now," Sephiroth stated as he looked up. "It's...coming from you, Zack, is it your phone?"

Zack blinked and checked. "No, it's been dead."

"I hear it, too," Reno said, looking at him. "What _is_ that?"

They suddenly noticed that the dragons had finally gone silent, and they paused to pay attention to the more pressing matter.

From the back of the cave, there was a sudden sound that had them standing up in alarm.

"Did they fucking _dig_ through?" Reno moaned.

The noise continued, until there was the sound of something creaking and Cloud and, surprisingly, the Turk Rude, came into view.

Reno, Zack, and Sephiroth were understandably confused. Cloud apparently couldn't pick between looking dreadfully embarrassed or wanting to drop kick someone in the face. Rude was, of course, blank.

"Rude?" Reno greeted in surprise. "How did you get in here?"

The bigger Turk surveyed them quietly, unnoticable behind his ever-resent sunglasses.

"There was a door," he finally said, bluntly.

"A door." Zack repeated, blue eyes flashing dangerously. "I heard that right, right? Did you just say a "door?""

_Wooow, _Fair said, sounding like he might start laughing.

"A fucking _door_?" Reno blew up.

"Who was supposed to check that wall?" Cloud asked, his voice eerily calm in a way that made him sound even more threatening.

Reno and Zack looked at each other, apparently ready to jump at each other's throats the minute the perpertrator confessed.

"...My apologies," Sephiroth spoke up, at least having the decency to look embarrassed. Everyone gaped at him and he shrugged. "I was distracted."

They just continued to gape. Well, except Rude of course, because he's too cool for that.

"Can we go home now?" Cloud asked pointedly.

"Reno, Veld wishes for me to inform you that the cost of the helicopter you trashed is coming out of your paycheck," Rude said.

Reno just whimpered.

**-xXx-**

**Awright, so Sephy is gonna get a dragon! :D Problem is, I don't have the slightest clue as to what to name him. So, if you could leave your thoughts in your review, I could pick my favorite suggestions and make a poll on my profile for you guys to vote, kay? :D**

**Oh, and, btw, for those of you who don't know what Sector 0 is (I have come to the realization that more people have played just Crisis Core and maybe the original game than all three games (Dirge of Cerberus)), it is this really big, basically ruined town beneath the Shinra Building. (Well, underground is the town. Above ground, it's the area where the Shinra building sits and a few highways that lead to and from it.)**


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core, nor any of the characters mentioned in this fic! **

**Though I do own Whicket. The name is DaniZaraki's, but the dragon is mine. 7:)**

"People talking"

'People thinking'

_Fair talking_

**-xXXXx-**

"So..."

Lazard's eyes narrowed on the four men (well, two of them were teens) standing in front of him. Beside him, Veld was frowning darkly at the only Turk amongst those four.

"Care to explain why this mission failed so epically?" Lazard deadpanned.

"Well," Zack winced, scratching at his cheek until Cloud batted the fingers away from the still-healing cut. "There were these dragons..."

"You don't say?" Lazard murmured sarcastically as he glanced at the foot-tall dragon perched on Sephiroth's shoulder. It lovingly cooed at the man it was sitting on.

"And we got caved in..." Reno went on sheepishly.

"In a cave where we had a door built first thing in case of your _exact_ situation?" the SOLDIER Director asked dryly.

"Reno..." Veld began irately with a long-suffering sigh, only to shake his head. "I can't even _begin_. What the _hell_ made you think you could just take a million gil piece of machine?"

"I didn't realize I was parking it on top of a dragon's nest?" Reno replied hesitantly.

Veld frowned at him. "You do know that this docks your pay for the next two years?"

"Only two?" Reno's eyes sparkled. "I'm only paying _half_, yo?"

"You get _that_ much?" Zack gaped. Even Sephiroth blinked in surprise.

_The fuck does he spend it on?_ Fair complained. _Booze? Drugs? On second thought, don't answer that._

"Maybe," Reno sniffed. "It's none of your business how much I make. More than you, that's for sure."

"Two extra months, Reno. Bragging isn't becoming of a person."

"But, sir!" Reno whined.

"And the rest is coming out of _your_ paychecks," Lazard said, looking to the other three.

Sephiroth merely pursed his lips in thought for a moment before shrugging indifferently while Zack wailed dramatically. Cloud looked like he was about to cry.

"Not you," Lazard said, looking quickly at the cadet. "Technically, you weren't even supposed to be on this particular mission, as it was a mistake for it to be listed in the school's program. These two, however," he narrowed his eyes at the SOLDIERS. "...know better."

Sephiroth shrugged again while Cloud discreetly did a fist pump, resulting in getting elbowed by both Reno and Zack. The General said, "I'll pay the costs. Just send me the bill."

Zack rounded on Sephiroth. "And you just happen to have a million gil laying around?"

Sephiroth blinked owlishly. "Yes, a few of those."

Zack turned to Lazard and pointed dramatically at his general. "This is the reason our economy is shit."

_Maybe we could turn Sephy into a good Samaritan and have him donate to Urban Development?_ Fair suggested.

Sephiroth's dragon snapped warningly at the finger and Zack quickly yanked his hand away. Sephiroth smirked. "Good boy, Whicket." He patted the dragon approvingly and it made an odd twittering noise in appreciation.

"'Whicket?'" Lazard questioned incredulously. "Sephiroth, do you plan on _keeping_ it?"

"_Him_," the General sniffed. "And yes."

"You- what-" Lazard spluttered. "I-...fine," he sighed.

Reno looked at him, shocked. "_Really_, yo?"

"I don't see the point in arguing," Lazard merely stated. "I've known Sephiroth long enough. It just isn't worth it."

Sephiroth smirked triumphantly.

"But there's still the costs of the President's vacation home..." Lazard trailed off.

And then the door opened, and Angeal, surprisingly, walked in. "You needed me, Director?"

"Ah, yes," Lazard smiled deviously at the men before him and leaned against his desk. "It's about the mission they just returned from..."

And while both Zack and Sephiroth had matching 'oh shit' expressions, Cloud was feigning 'adorably confused' like the little shit he was and Reno was trying to hide behind Zack.

"Sephiroth, is that an actual _dragon_ on your shoulder?"

_Hah, you're in trouble,_ Fair snickered.

**-xXx-**

_How much vacation time you got?_ Fair asked suddenly.

"Couple weeks, why?" Zack replied, pausing mid-pushup.

_Because we really need to see about fishing for Jellyfishes..._

Zack blinked in total confusion for a moment. "Wha-? Oh!"

_Yeah, Jenova. I'd say just pack up and leave, but Shinra might not like that too much, would they?_

"Probably not," Zack agreed. "So, what do we do? Continue asking for missions over there? With my check cut in half, I can't afford to get to the Western Continent, even if I do use my vacation."

_I realized. But hey, I've got an idea. Genesis is leaving tomorrow, right?_

"Yeah."

_Then we need to act quick. Do exactly what I tell you, alright?_

"Gotcha."

It was then that the door to the training room opened, and Angeal came through, looking particularly upset.

"Angeal?" Zack asked in alarm as he jumped up. "What happened?"

Behind Angeal, Sephiroth passed by the room with a hard look on his face, Whicket apparently having been left in his rooms.

_I think..._

Angeal frowned at him before shaking his head with a sigh and ruffling his apprentice's hair. "It's nothing, Zack. Just a little disagreement with some friends."

"Okay..." Zack replied slowly, knowing that if it were, in fact, 'nothing,' Angeal wouldn't have that expression on his face.

_Yeah, Genesis got hurt,_ Fair explained, and before Zack could respond, he elaborated. _He, Angeal, and Seph were sparring, but Genesis and Seph got too serious and he ended up getting hurt. When Angeal's gone, I'll tell you more._

"Alright."

"What number were you on?" Angeal started, walking over to one of the benches along the wall.

"Uhh, I lost count," Zack admitted.

"Right, then. You up for a mission simulation?"

"Sure!" Zack grinned, bouncing on his feet slightly.

_Aww, we haven't gotten you a new sword, yet,_ Fair complained.

"Why would I need one now?" he asked, and Angeal rose an eyebrow at him.

_Because this will be the first time you experience the consequences of using such a low-quality scrap of metal!_

Zack ignored Fair and grinned at Angeal, miming taking a phone piece out of his ear (so he wouldn't think he was crazy) as they both took out their phones.

**Mission ID: 0-0-1**

**Mission Title: Crisis Core**

**_Combat Mode Activated!_**

**-xXXXx-**

**Yay, plot! And we are now in Crisis Core timeline. Sorry about that little bit at the end, I couldn't help myself x3 The next chapter should be relatively easy to write, I might have it up within a week.  
><strong>

**You know, those writing assignments were ridiculously easy. I guess that after being used to a certain Honors class I had last year (which friggin felt like an AP class, I'm not even kidding), anything else is now considered elementary-level.  
><strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core, nor any of the characters mentioned in this fic! **

"People talking"

'People thinking'

_Fair talking_

**-xXXXx-**

"How positive are you that this will work?" Zack asked uncomfortably.

_It can't _not_ work,_ Fair replied, sounding like he was grinning. _It's so simple it won't matter if it fails._

"Yea, but I'm not even supposed to know about this stuff," Zack bemoaned. "I'll be so screwed if we get caught. What would Angeal say?"

_You won't get caught,_ Fair assured. _That part of the library can't be seen on the security cameras, and before you ask, _yes,_ I'm positive._

"Isn't he still hurt badly though? Why is he still going to Wutai?"

_Because Genesis Rhapsodos is a stubborn sonovabitch who just won't _stay down._ Now, come on! We're running out of time. Hurry up and get to the SOLDIER floor! We still have to get to the library,too._

"_Alright_, alright," Zack muttered.

**-xXx-**

Commander Genesis Rhapsodos was _not_ in a good mood.

His shoulder hurt, it _still_ wouldn't fucking heal, and he was so goddamned _busy_ he felt lightheaded. Which, in light of his most recent wound, was probably not a good thing.

He had several stacks of folders and binders with him, with his beloved Loveless sat neatly on top, quickly walking to the conference room to go over the campaign with several of the company's officials and military leaders. His book was out if it's normal spot in the left pocket of his coat because he was trying to keep as much weight off his left shoulder as he possibly could, an his right pocket was filled with materia.

As he rounded a corner, a secretary stumbled right into the Commander, having tripped over his own feet and sending several of Genesis' documents scattering.

"Damnit!" Genesis snapped, much to the terror of the secretary. He leaned down to pick up the papers that had fallen, barely managing to hold a wince when the movement pulled at his wound painfully. He snatched his papers the continuously apologizing secretary had picked up with an impatient growl and continued on his way, not noticing his missing Loveless book.

**-xXx-**

"It _worked_," Zack gaped disbelievingly, feeling rather evil at the moment as he hid behind the corner Genesis had just passed.

_Told ya,_ Fair boasted. _Contrary to popular belief, I _can_ actually use my head_.

"How did you know they would cross each others paths right there?"

_I was keeping watch. The secretary was running errands to and from the SOLDIER floor all day, so he was bound to run into Genesis at some time. Add a little trip wire in the right place, and boom! Perfect opportunity to get Loveless.  
><em>

"I... Wow."

_Yes, I know, I'm amazing~ Now hurry up, we still have to get to the library!_

**-xXx-**

Genesis growled when he realized his book was nowhere to be found, checking the floor of the conference room and double-checking his pockets. How had he lasted the whole meeting without noticing his book, which he kept on his person at almost _all_ times, was _missing_?

"Genesis?" Angeal asked with a raised brow at his harried friend.

"I can't find Loveless," Genesis scowled. "The secretary that ran into me must have picked it up."

"Are you sure you just didn't leave it behind?" Angeal questioned.

Genesis shook his head with a frown. "The floor was bare when I walked away." He only had two copies of Loveless. The one he carried around always, and a special edition he wouldn't dare take out of his rooms. The problem is, he was about to leave for Wutai, and he would go absolutely crazy if he didn't have any reading material to keep him distracted.

"The library has a copy," Angeal suggested. "You could borrow that one and buy another when you return."

Genesis sneered at the thought of having to wait until he got back from Wutai to get a new copy, but grudgingly accepted that he would rather have a book he could hardly call his own than going without Loveless for several weeks.

"I have a few hours before I leave," Genesis sighed angrily. "I guess I'll go check it out."

Angeal rose an eyebrow and smirked slightly, "If it bothers you that much, I could get you a copy and send it to you."

Genesis sighed in relief. "You're a saint, Angeal."

Like usual, Shinra's library was almost empty, save for the librarian and the occasional reader. Genesis easily made his way to where the library's copy of Loveless was, spotting the book in less than a few seconds and quickly plucking it off the shelf. He had the book checked out in less than ten minutes and then was heading to his apartment to make sure he had everything he needed.

When he arrived, he had just tossed the book onto the couch when a flash of white caught his eye. A piece of folded paper, about the size of a note card, was sticking out of the book. Curiosity getting the better of him, he picked it up and quickly scanned the note.

**To Genesis-**

**The cure for your degradation is at Shinra.**

The note, though vague and extremely short, made Genesis freeze in alarm. Someone, he knew it was not one of the only three people that should know about his degradation since he could recognize their handwriting, _knew_.

**-xXx-**

"Is he staying?" Zack asked, shutting the door to his apartment.

_We're not trying to make him stay,_ Fair replied. _And he's reading it right now._

"Wait, if we're not trying to make him stay, what was the whole point of that?" Zack complained.

_To make him interested. He knows that someone here, someone he doesn't know, knows about his condition and might know the cure. He won't go MIA when he knows that someone might either use this knowledge against him or help him._

"I guess that's the most we can do?" Zack sighed.

_For now,_ Fair confirmed.

**-xXx-**

**Short  
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**Whicket's Adventure:**

Whicket was bored.

That was an understatement, actually.

But, yes, he was bored to the Northern Crater and back and he _missed. His. Papa!_

The baby dragon made a pleading noise at the door, hoping his Papa would hear him and come back. He had left some time ago, setting Whicket down in the living room and giving him some very stern words that Whicket, being the rather intelligent creature he was, understood as a warning to behave.

And he had behaved! He had even protected the house from the terrible screeching machine on the table beside his Papa's bed! He _knew_ it was evil, with the way Sephiroth glared at it when it woke him up.

_Well._ Whicket's chest puffed out proudly. It _had_ been evil. Now it was just a piece of twisted and chewed-on scrap metal.

A sudden pounding outside the door his Papa left through made him start and puff a small flame at the metal door.

"_How many times has this damn mutt gotten loose now, yo? And why are _we_ the ones getting it _again_? I swear, this thing is more trouble than it's worth! And it's a pure-bred! So that's a lot!_"

"_If the Vice-President heard you saying that.._."

"_Eh, so what? He freaking _owes_ us, yo..._"

"_He signs our _checks_, Reno._"

"_No,_ Veld _signs our checks._"

Whicket growled warningly at the voices before scuttling into the kitchen for his food.

You see, the thing about dragons is you can't exactly buy food for them at the store. So Sephiroth was stuck going into the shadier parts of the plate and retrieving some of the overgrown rats there. Fortunately, they were the perfect size for Whicket. Unfortunately, sooner or later Whicket would be needing larger meals. Like a cow or two.

So as he scarfed down his last rat, something flicking past the window above the sink caught his attention. Curiously, he turned and stared at the window in hopes of seeing it again. Just when he thought he had imagined it, he saw it again. Some kind of long, black-ish blue object was whipping past the window.

He quickly scurried on to the table with the help of the chair and leapt across the expanse of space between the table and the counter. Climbing up onto the window sill, he curiously looked down at the odd creature he saw sitting on the narrow ledge. It looked like a dog, though of course Whicket didn't know what a dog was, with very dark skin and a tail-like projection jutting out of the back of its neck.

It turned and saw Whicket, and, almost disinterestedly, raised its muzzle in a half-hearted attempt to smell the dragon. But the movement startled Whicket, who fell back into the sink with a squeak. He quickly jumped up, looking around wildly as if to ask _if anyone saw that!_ The creature had threatened him! How dare he!

So, being the valiant warrior that he is, Whicket charged at the window in hopes of headbutting the stupid thing of the building!

And, of course, the window was flung open, and Whicket tumbled past Dark Nation and off the ledge the fall to the one ten or so feet below it.

He just about freaked out when he realized where he _was_, _hundreds_ of feet above the ground. He looked around, seeing that he had about four feet of space. Oh, no!

He turned his head towards the window he had fallen from and started up a cacophony of sounds in hope that his Papa would hear him. A movement in the side of his eye caught his attention, and he turned to see several bewildered human faces pressed against the glass. He spat a small fireball at them, because they were unimportant and because he just could. When he looked back up at the window, he saw the Guard Hound perched lazily on the edge. He started growling at the devious monster. He had led him into a trap!

Dark Nation just looked down at him as if asking if he _really_ thought he was intimidating. Whicket shot a flame at him in indignation. With a shrug, Dark Nation lumbered to his feet and easily leapt down to a hissing Whicket's ledge. The faces in the window were gawking now, but Whicket still paid them no attention because they were still unimportant.

Dark Nation stared at the small dragon for a while, who had quieted and was watching him warily, before he seemed to shrug again and knelt down so that he was eye-level with Whicket. Some sort of understanding seemed to pass between them as the dragon nodded and he climbed onto Dark Nation's back, clinging tightly as the Guard Hound jumped from the ledge, much to the bewilderment of the office workers.

**-xXx-**

I guess you could say one Private Cloud Strife was understandably confused when he walked out of the Shinra building. He didn't expect to see the Vice President making 'come here' motions to something beyond Cloud's sight, as well as Reno attempting to scale the building and Rude standing there stoically. Curiosity getting the better of him, he turned around and backed up until he could see what they were trying to reach.

"Whicket!" he immediately scolded. "What are you doing outside!"

The tiny dragon looked over the lowest ledge curiously, perched beside a Guard Hound, of all things. Dark Nation looked boredly, with some amusement, but mostly boredom, at the red-headed Turk not five feet from him attempting the retrieve him. He let the foolish human think he could win for a few seconds before using his tail to knock him to the ground.

"_Bitch!_"

Rufus Shinra sighed angrily and looked down at the private with narrowed eyes. "Is this _your_ doing?"

"No, sir," Cloud replied with a grimace, resisting the urge to snap at the man. He was wearing a _cadet_ uniform, for Shiva's sake, did he _look_ like security would let him anywhere near the building with a Gaia-damned _dragon_? "I just know him, that's all."

Whicket let out a coo when he recognized the blond human. He was nice! Maybe he would take him to his Papa! With that, he leapt from the ledge and glided easily until he landed on Cloud's outstretched arm.

"Sir," Cloud nodded to Rufus before turning and walking back into the building with his phone already up to his ear.

Whicket was feeling pretty good about himself and the adventure he had that day, but the stern green eyes looking at him later made him think that _maybe_ he could have behaved a little more.

**-xXXXx-**

**Lol, idk where that came from. I just wrote it and decided I'd post it. You like?**

**What makes me sad is that as I was typing this my brother was playing Skyrim and killing dragons. :(**

**But on a happier note, I am making Valentine's chocolates this weekend! And I've got friends coming over to help, so I'm super excited. And craving chocolate.**

**Woah. I just realized spell check changed 'themselves' into 'Themistocles' a few chapters back. What does that even mean? Oh, it's a person. Athenian, apparently. Excuse me while I go fix things!  
><strong>

**You guys are awesome, just saying. :)  
><strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core, nor any of the characters mentioned in this fic! **

"People talking"

'People thinking'

_Fair talking_

**-xXXXx-**

"No, I haven't, Genesis!" Angeal snapped angrily, walking into the training room Zack was currently using, his PHS held up to his ear. He ignored the greeting Zack gave him. "Who do you take me for? I've known you since we were four!"

"Woah," Zack said, staring wide-eyed at his obviously-ticked-off mentor. "I don't think I've seen him angry like that."

_Wait, hold on,_ Fair was apparently finding this very amusing. _Can you hear Genesis?_

"No?" Zack replied, looking confused. Even though SOLDIERs had better hearing and could hear normal peoples' conversations, other SOLDIERs took notice of their enhancements and smartly turned the volume on their phone to its lowest setting so that others couldn't eavesdrop.

_Okay, hold on, he's saying, "Well, somebody had to have let it slip! So you can take that honor of yours and shove it up-"_

"Why are you blaming me?" Angeal barked, interrupting Fair. "Usually you save this kind of drama for Sephiroth!"

_"So it was him!" _Fair relayed._ "That sneaky son of a-"_

"No, it wasn't," Angeal said.

_"And how do you know?"_ Fair snarked in a perfect imitation of Genesis' pissed off voice.

"Because he isn't like that!" Angeal exploded. "Why can't you trust us more!"

"I'm starting to think Angeal doesn't realize I'm here," Zack noted, tilting his head to the side as Angeal started up an agitated pacing.

_I don't think so, either. "Well, only two other people knew about the degradation,"_ Fair hissed the last part for Genesis. _"How did someone find out?"_

Angeal threw his free arm into the air in exasperation. "I don't know! Maybe someone overheard us talking that night; maybe someone snuck in and saw Hollander's work, I don't know!" Angeal sounded like he was at the end of his rope. "And, anyways, it's not like they're trying to hurt you, they must want to help!"

_"It had to have been blackmail!"_ Fair growled for Genesis. _"It's a warning!"_ Fair suddenly started choking/coughing. _Gosh, it's hard to keep that voice for a while._

Zack laughed at that, making Angeal whip around as if finally noticing him. "Zack!" he said in surprise, a disapproving look starting to appear on his face. "How long have you been here?"

"Hey, I told you "Heya" when you walked in," Zack said in his defense, raising his hands. "You just ignored me."

Angeal frowned, then, though it was more directed at himself. "Sorry, then." He then spoke into the phone. "Genesis, I have to go. _No_. I have to go. Bye." As he was lowering his phone he gaped at it suddenly.

_Gaia_! Fair gasped bemusedly. _Does he kiss his mother with that mouth?_

"What did he say?" Zack asked.

"Nothing," Angeal answered.

_Oh, your ears are much too young for such vile language,_ Fair agreed.

Zack pouted, and Angeal rolled his eyes.

"Do you have anything planned for today?" his mentor asked.

"Not really, why?" Zack replied.

"Because I've been asked to examine new cadets for the mentor program." At the sudden heartbroken look on Zack's face he quickly backtracked. "No, not like that!" He ruffled Zack's hair. "It's not for me, Zack, I've got my hands full with just you." Zack grinned at that. "I'm just looking at cadets who would need a mentor. Some of them are falling behind, and Lazard doesn't want to lose any more recruits to the Turks."

_Wait, they have to be the last in the class to be Turks?_ Fair asked in confusion.

Zack echoed Fair's question and Angeal shook his head with a wry smile. "No, I meant the Turks are looking at them today, too, and if we don't get there soon we won't have the best, as terrible as that sounds."

_Aw, he's too nice to say someone sucks,_ Fair said.

"Oh, no!" Zack suddenly cried. "They'll take my chocobo!"

"What?" Angeal asked, making a confused face.

_Oh, Shiva, they will!_ Fair gasped. _Quick, to the academy!_

And so Zack grabbed Angeal ad started hauling him towards the cadet classes.

**-xXx-**

When they got there, much to Zack's dismay, Cloud was already pulled aside and talking with Tseng.

"Nooo!" he howled, charging and nearly tackling the poor cadet to the ground.

"Zack?" Cloud asked in shock, breathless and staggered.

"Lieutenant Fair?" Tseng rose an eyebrow. Zack glared at him and pointed dramatically at him, opening his mouth to unleash a tirade of words.

"Mine!" he simply said, before dragging the blond off, leaving Angeal to apologize to the man for him.

Tseng would have done a face-palm, if he was not Tseng.

_Evil Turks!_ Fair huffed. _Trying to lead little Cloudy down the path of darkness! And they do _not_ have cookies!_

"Did he just really...?" Zack heard a familiar voice say, and he glanced over to see Reno staring at him in disbelieving amusement. He stuck his tongue out at him.

"Zack, what are you _doing_!" Cloud gasped, still winded. "Geez, I was gonna say 'no!' You didn't have to tackle me!"

"It was much more dramatic," Zack defended with a shrug.

"Oh," Cloud seemed to accept that. "Can you let me go, now?"

"That depends, are you considering joining the evil that is the Turks?" Zack narrowed his eyes.

"Zack_, no_, I'd much rather swing sharp pointy things than shoot a tiny little gun," Cloud huffed.

"Narrow view of how the Turks actually fight, but spoken like a true half-wit SOLDIER!" Zack said proudly, letting the blond go and patting him on the back.

"Should I take that as a compliment?" Cloud wondered with a frown.

"No clue," Zack said brightly, bouncing in place.

_Heads up,_ Fair said, _Mentor with a frown heading your way._

"I can explain!" Zack blurted, immediately turning around and holding his hands up in defense.

Angeal paused and blinked at him. "How did you know I was there?"

"Even _I _didn't notice him, and I was facing his way," Cloud put in, confused.

"I saw his reflection in your eyes," Zack said romantically, leaning in. Cloud grimaced and leaned back away from him.

"Creep."

"I don't even want to know," Angeal sighed.

"What are you guys down here for, anyways?" Cloud asked, shoving Zack away.

"We're looking at candidates for the mentoring program," Angeal replied. He gestured to Tseng and Reno. "They're looking for Turk recruits."

"Do I really look like I couldn't be a SOLDIER?" Cloud asked, looking extremely put off.

"Of course you can," Zack immediately reassured. "You are just a cadet, still. And the mako will help."

"Just between us," Angeal said in a rather hushed voice, "When we were just cadets, Genesis Rhapsodos was the smallest in the class, too."

"Really?" Cloud, Zack, and Fair all gasped, disbelieving.

Angeal grinned. "Really. But, he was the fastest, and you know the saying." His grin turned somewhat mischievous. "'The bigger they are, the harder they fall.'"

"That sounds like it comes with a story," Zack pointed out with a grin "I wanna hear it."

_Me too!_ Fair said.

"Maybe someday," Angeal smiled, then his expression became more serious. "But if you are still worried, I can see about finding you a 1st Class mentor."

"Who's left?" Zack wondered aloud. "There aren't that many 1sts."

_Well, there's Genesis and Sephiroth, obviously_, Fair said. _And then maybe two or three other 1sts I can't remember._

"Sephiroth likes Cloud," Zack pointed out.

"Would he take an apprentice?" Cloud asked disbelievingly.

"He might," Angeal shrugged, honestly having no clue.

_Are you freaking insane?_ Fair objected. _We're gonna have another war on our hands if we keep them together long enough!_

Zack whipped out his phone really quick since he didn't have his ear piece. "But he isn't insane yet," he argued.

"Who are you talking to?" Angeal wondered.

"My friend that likes playing Mario," Zack replied quickly.

_He might not be insane yet, but they hate each other!_

"Maybe where you're from."

_I mean I really think that is a bad idea,_ Fair whined.

"You act like I can't think," Zack complained. "Last time they were together they were fine."

_Yes, and Cloud also tried to blast his head off with Thunder._

"He wasn't serious," Zack rolled his eyes. "He was just mad."

_Fine,_ Fair sighed._ I'm totally rubbing it in your face, though, if things go bad._

"Have some faith in them!" Zack said brightly. "Kay, bye!"

_What's with the farewells?_

"So," Zack said, flipping his phone shut and slipping it in his pocket. "Where were we?"

"Wondering if Sephiroth would take an apprentice," Angeal replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I think it's a good idea," Zack grinned. "Sephiroth has nothing but paperwork to do, anyways, since there aren't many missions big enough for him to go on anymore."

"He does complain about it often," Angeal mused.

"So call him down here!" Zack told him.

_Dear Gaia, we're all doomed,_ Fair whined.

**-xXXXx-**

**Ehh.**

**Sup? :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core, nor any of the characters mentioned in this fic! **

"People talking"

'People thinking'

_Fair talking_

_or sound effects. Idfk. :)  
><em>

**-xXXXx-**

_Click._

"_General Sephiroth speaking._"

"Sephiroth, this is your personal cellphone. You don't have to be so formal, you know."

"_Oh, Angeal. What is it you need?_"

"Well, I was down here in the training rooms-"

"_No._"

"I haven't even asked you yet."

"_No._"

"At least hear me out?"

"_No._"

"I'll send Zack to get Whicket's food for the next three days."

"Hey!"

"_..._"

"I'll also lend you that mastered HP to MP materia."

"_...What do you want?_"

"You remember Cloud Strife, right? Zack says you went on a mission together and got along well."

"_...You can say that._"

"Anyways, I'm down here to look at candidates for the mentor program-"

"_And you want _me_ to mentor him?_"

"Well, he wants a mentor, and Zack suggested you."

"_...Make that four days. How bad is he?_"

"I don't know, you're the one who went on a mission with him. He's really small compared to the other cadets, though."

"_Shouldn't Genesis be the ideal option, then?_"

"He's in Wutai, and you know why he can't."

"_...I'll come down there and see for myself._"

"Sorry to bother you, Seph."

"_No, thank you for giving me an excuse to get away from this paperwork_."

"You do know that Lazard's going to hound you until it's finished, right?"

"_He wants it done so badly, he can do it himself._"

_Click._

**-xXx-**

"He's coming down," Angeal said, flipping his phone shut.

"He agreed?" Cloud asked in disbelief.

"He's considering it," Angeal shrugged.

"Since when could you bribe with me?" Zack asked, pouting.

"Well it _was_ you idea," Angeal pointed out.

_He's right_, Fair added. Zack sighed.

"Would this mean I'd end up learning to fight with a katana that's twice my size?" Cloud wondered, thoughtfully eying Angeal's buster sword.

_Oh, I wouldn't say twice his size_, Fair mused. _More like him and a half_.

Angeal narrowed his eyes at him. "Mine."

"No offense, Spiky, but I don't think you could fight with a buster," Zack said doubtfully.

Cloud crossed his arms. "You never know."

Angeal rose an eyebrow. "I won't tell you some lie about how it's not as heavy as it look. Because it's heavier."

"Do I really look like I couldn't even pick up a damn _chair_?" Cloud complained, scowling at them both. "Believe it or not, I actually _did_ do a lot of heavy lifting at home." He held his arms out. "I apparently just don't put on muscle like others."

Angeal tilted his head and reached for sword, causing Zack's jaw to drop.

_Dude, he never let even me touch it before he gave it to me!_ Fair said disbelievingly.

"I'll hold a grudge if you drop it," the 1st Class warned, flipping the blade to that the handle was facing Cloud.

"The Apocalypse is near," Zack said cheerfully to Cloud's instructor as he passed. The man gave Zack an odd look and hurried on.

Cloud looked a lot less sure, now, but he reached for the sword nonetheless. When he lifted it, Angeal's hands did this odd hovering thing beneath the sword and Fair couldn't stop a snort.

Quite a few people in the room gaped when Cloud help up the sword single handedly with little to no effort, then switched to both hands and gave a practice swing.

_So many people underestimate him,_ Fair said smugly.

"What the actual fuck," Zack complained. "I'm pumped with mako up to my damn _crotch_ and I can't hold that thing with one hand."

Angeal looked at him sharply. "Language. And when did you try?"

Zack floundered and Fair snickered at him, "Simulation room?"

Angeal rose an eyebrow and Zack grinned sheepishly.

"This is easy," Cloud said lightly, spinning the blade similar to the way Zack would and successfully giving Angeal a heart attack.

"You expect _me_ to take him as an apprentice when he's that good with a buster sword?" Sephiroth asked, suddenly behind Zack.

"_Sweet_ Shiva's tits," Zack yelped, jumping away from the man. Sephiroth grinned mischievously at him before giving Cloud a critical stare. Cloud, having already given Angeal his sword back, met his stare and didn't even salute.

_See, moments like this is what will lead to the Shinra tower getting absolutely trashed again,_ Fair sighed.

Sephiroth smirked. "I could discharge you for insubordination."

Cloud quirked an eyebrow. "I could point and laugh at you when Whicket goes through his first growth spurt."

Sephiroth copied his expression. "And what would that entail?"

"His appetite tripling; a new set of teeth, therefore, and extreme habit of chewing anything he can get his mouth around; and also his lungs will be big enough to start producing the gas needed to breath actual fire, but as he does not have the type of stone needed to spark the gas to burn it up, he will drown in said gas," Cloud listed without missing a beat.

"That's..." Zack began.

"Morbid?" Angeal supplied helpfully.

Sephiroth smirked again. "Touche." He looked at Angeal and Zack. "I'll train him in the basic areas; materia, physical fitness, battle tactics, et cetera. But I have a proposition," he said in response to the questioning looks. "If Fair is 1st Class by the time I'm satisfied with his progress, he or Angeal can mentor him in sword tactics. If not, then he'll just go back to his normal classes."

Cloud narrowed his eyes dangerously at Zack. "No pressure, buddy."

Zack blinked at him. "If there's no pressure, why does it look like you're trying to cause me to spontaneously combust with your eyes?"

_Maybe he want Wutainese food,_ Fair guessed.

"I thought Cosmo Taco was the one that used dog," Zack wondered, tilting his head.

"There he goes again," Angeal sighed.

_No, Cosmo Taco uses cats,_ Fair corrected.

"Why do we eat it even though there are so many rumors of animals being used in it?" Zack asked, frowning in confusion.

_People would rather spend money to eat kittens and puppies than just spend time to make their own healthy food,_ Fair said nonchalantly.

"Oh."

"I don't know what to do about him, " Angeal sighed sadly, shaking his head.

"Do what I do," Sephiroth suggested, pausing in intimidating Cloud with horror stories of just how hellish his training will be.

"And what's that?" Cloud replied, completely unfazed.

"Fetch." And then Sephiroth flicked a piece of gil in front of Zack's face.

"Hey, it's this year's!" Zack said happily, diving for it. "It's so shiny! Oh, look at the little buffalo!"

_Dude, really?_ Fair demanded.

"Where'd the plot go?" Reno wondered out loud, standing over by Tseng. His senior gave him an odd look.

**-xXXXx-**

**Eh, I got this basic plot for the story in my head, but really I just write until I'm satisfied (I wing this stuff)xD I apologize for the lack of plot. :)  
><strong>

**Enjoy and review, my lovely readers~**


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core, nor any of the characters mentioned in this fic! **

"People talking"

'People thinking'

_Fair talking_

_or sound effects. Idfk. :)  
><em>

**-xXXXx-**

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...That was fast."

Genesis rose his chin sharply, narrowing his eyes. "Problem?"

Angeal blinked at the unloading army behind the crimson commander. "No, it's just..."

"I covered everywhere," Genesis snapped. "And, _yes_, thoroughly. Where's Loveless?"

Angeal dumbly held up said book. "I was just going to ship it." Genesis immediately snatched it out of his hand and started flipping through it.

"...Casualties?" Lazard asked, staring at the army with wide eyes.

"Four," Genesis grumbled.

"_Only?_" Zack gaped with the rest of them. "The whole second half of the war took only two weeks and we only had _four casualties_?"

"Yes, now shut up," Genesis huffed.

Sephiroth blinked hard, looking terribly confused. "You beat my record."

And Genesis _had_ to gloat at that. "I noticed," he snarked with a menacing grin in the General's direction.

_Shiva damn, that note must have been good incentive,_ Fair laughed.

"I'd high-five you if you had a body," Zack said honestly.

_My body is your body._

"Oh, yeah!" Zack said with a grin, and proceeded to clap his hands once.

Genesis glanced up at him. "He still doing drugs?"

"Crack is whack," Zack chirped, tilting his head and tapping his new ear phone. "I'm getting in touch with my technological side."

Genesis pursed his lips disdainfully and raised a brow. "Mh-hmm. I'm surprised you know what "technological" means."

Zack frowned at him and Genesis smirked back as if daring him to do something.

_See, isn't he an asshole?_ Fair complained. _I'd love to kick his ass again._

"Stop antagonizing my student, Genesis," Angeal sighed, rubbing his brow.

"Fine, fine," Genesis sighed. "This one time, in return for getting me this." He held up Loveless.

_... Now that I think about it, we may have stopped Sephiroth from going insane by just keeping Genesis at Shinra, Fair said slowly, his building excitement audible in his voice._

"How so?" Zack asked, shocked.

_Well, Genesis was the one that made him start getting curious about his parentage, and Genesis knew about it because he was researching files to find a cure for degradation. If he left, he would have dragged Hollander along, and Hollander has a crapload of information on the whole Jenova protect! So if we just tell him the cure right away, we're good!_

"...Why does it seem so simple?" Zack asked.

_Damnit, you probably just jinxed us,_ Fair huffed.

"Oops."

_Anyways,_ Fair sighed. _I don't want to take any chances anyways. We should still keep trying to go to Nibelheim._

"And what'll we do when we get there?"

_Take out our pyrotechnic tendencies on some condemned mansions_.

"Sounds illegal."

_Duh, that's why it's fun._

"What are you talking about?" Angeal asked suspiciously, eying his student.

"Grand Theft Auto," Zack replied innocently with a charming smile.

_That doesn't have multiplayer,_ Fair accused.

Zack scoffed. "He doesn't know that." Angeal frowned at him again and he smiled innocently again.

**-xXx-**

"Yes!" Zack said excitedly, pumping the fist not holding his PHS.

"What?" Cloud asked, sitting beside him at one of the tables in the upstairs Lobby of the Shinra building. He had a notebook in front of him, filled with plenty of erased pencil marks and a question written in neat penmanship at the top followed by '_Figure it out by the end of the day or double the exercise tomorrow. 7:)_'

_Is that what I think it is?_ Fair gasped, an audible grin in his voice.

"Mission to Nibelheim, oh yeah!" Zack crowed. "And I get to go without supervision?" He laughed gleefully. "Mine!" And violently clicked the series of buttons on his phone that allowed him to accept the mission before someone else could.

"Nibelheim?" Cloud gaped. "Why would you want to go there?"

Zack blinked at him for a few seconds. "It is a wonderful snowy area filled with an assortment of flora and fauna; some of which, for whatever reason, are secluded to this mountain village."

_You are terrible sometimes at making excuses,_ Fair pointed out.

Cloud grimaced down at his textbook. "You cheater."

"Hey, I didn't know I could read upside down that quickly," Zack said happily, standing and turning his head at an awkward angle to better see the text. "Hey, I got it spot on, too!"

"Stop that man!" someone suddenly screamed, and both teens jumped at the pitch before looking up the stairs to see a man running down them at full speed. The scream had come from a secretary, who looked to be one of the ones who worked on the second to top floor of the building. She was roughly pushed aside by a few Turks, one of which was Reno, who was snapping "stay out of the goddamn _way_, bitch, are _you_ the one with a gun?"

Zack, of course, sprang into action, and ran and blocked the first flight of stairs before the man could get to them. The thief, as Zack could now see, was holding a rather thick manilla envelope which looked out of place in his grubby hands and came to a stumbling stop before the SOLDIER.

Zack's eyes bugged out of his head. "You?"

The man copied his expression. "You!"

_Him?_ Fair guffawed.

"You again?" Reno said incredulously.

"You fell off the plate!" the man objected, pointing a yellowed finger at Zack. "How are you alive!"

"You shot at me!" Zack yelled back, glaring. "And that fall fucking hurt!"

"I thought I at _least_ left you in a coma," Reno huffed with a scowl, stopping behind the man with his gun drawn and aimed.

"You know him?" Zack asked Reno with confusion written on his face.

"You can say that," Reno gave a positively vicious grin to the crack-head and he shuddered. "Moved up in your job, haven't you? Gone from stealing purses to stealing documents that'll get you caught in the middle of the Turks? Very smart, dumbass."

"The money offer was good," the man shrugged, glancing back at the Turk.

"And who offered it?" Reno asked with a raised brow.

_He wouldn't answer just like that,_ Fair said doubtfully.

"AVALANCHE," the man shrugged.

All the Shinra employees blinked.

_He really is a dumbass, isn't he?_ Fair asked bemusedly.

"...Right," Reno said slowly. "And... what do they want with it?"

"Hell if I know," the druggie scoffed, and then started casually walking towards the stairs Zack was blocking. "But anyways, I've got places to go, dealers to see, you know."

"Dude, really?" Zack asked with a raised brow, stepping in front of him. He made a snatch for the envelope, but the man jerked away and lifted his hand, which now brandished a sleek black trigger.

"Shit," Reno growled, lowering his gun as the other Turk whipped out his phone, swiftly giving reports to several people.

"First a gun, now a bomb?" Zack complained, warily watching the man's hand. "Can't you act, I don't know, _sane_ for once?"

"Too boring," the druggie shrugged. "I'ma just be going now, kay?"

And as he took another step towards the door something whizzed by his head, cutting the wire trailing off the trigger and lodging into the marble floor at his feet. Zack looked down at what turned out to be a freaking giant shuriken before two gunshots rang through the air and the man fell, screaming and clutching his bloody leg with his now bloody arm. The envelope flipped out of the man's hands and conveniently landed in Zack's.

"You know, Reno, you would have figured that you'd be able to recognize a fake bomb, what with you being an active Turk for twice as long as me," a lightly scolding voice called. They all looked up to see an orange-haired girl in a Turk suit sitting casually on the railing, twirling around a second shuriken with one hand and replacing a gun with her other.

_Yay!_ Fair cheered.

"Well, you grew up with the Turks, Doll, I didn't," Reno pouted, turning to face her as she walked down the stairs.

"Don't call me doll," she said patiently, reaching Zack and plucking the envelope from his hands with a smile. "Thank you, Zack, he would have gotten away if you weren't there."

"I had him," Reno complained.

"Do I know you?" Zack asked in confusion. She blinked.

"Oh, I forgot we haven't been introduced before," she said, then smiled again and held out a hand to shake. "You can call me Cissnei."

_I never figured out her real name,_ Fair grumbled.

"Nice to meet you?" Zack said uncertainly.

"She likes to stalk the employee database," Reno said, appearing next to her and slinging an arm over her shoulder. He grinned. "That's how she knows you."

She smiled innocently while holding the sharp end of her shuriken to a now sweating Reno's nose. "Well it was nice to meet you, Zack, and thank you again."

"No problem?" Zack asked in confusion, watching her and Reno walk off with the other Turk, Reno grumbling about how all the hot girls were either taken, lesbian, or insane.

"Dat ass," Cloud said, suddenly next to him.

"_Cloud!_" Zack protested, scowling at him. The blond rose an eyebrow.

"You were the one staring," he stated.

"I was not!" Zack spluttered, reddening.

_Hey, no cheating on Aerith!_ Fair said warningly.

"We're not even together!" Zack objected.

"Uh, duh? You just met her?" Cloud said, looking at him strangely.

_Then we need to fix that!_ Fair declared. _To the slums!_

Zack sighed and took out his phone. "I'm on duty!"

_So? You don't have a mission!_

Cloud politely threw his attention elsewhere while Zack was arguing with someone on the phone and glanced over the edge of the railing, blushing and looking away when he saw that he could see down the secretaries' shirts from where he was.

"Now who's the pervert?" Zack teased, nudging him with a grin, and Cloud rolled his eyes and shoved his arm away.

**-xXXXx-**

**Happy (late) Easter! But if you're not Christian, then ****Happy Monday!**

**Hmm, I suppose I should start my homework, now... **

**Wuv you guys!**


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own FF7!**

_Fair talking_

_'People thinking'_

**-xXXXx-**

_And you see that guy?_ Fair whispered with an audible grin. _Total duckface. Look, he isn't even trying. Look! Duckface, right?_

Zack covered his mouth with his hand, closing his eyes to try to resist doing as Fair said. He had been subjected to these constant little comments the entire ride so far to Nibelheim, and the sudden grins and laughter escaping him when Fair made a funny enough comment didn't really assure the other people in the helicopter that he was sane. Which was Fair's purpose, for some reason, because apparently Fair just loved screwing with Zack sometimes.

His mission, which Fair had declared was to be put on the backburner for now, was a mere checkup on the reactor. Fair had been a little hesitant about the mission details, for some reason he would not tell Zack, but he did tell Zack that if he started hearing any voices he was to immediately leave, regardless of the mission. He was also told that the chances of hearing said voices should be extremely slim, as apparently Jellyfish didn't really much care for him. So he was getting a lift on a helicopter to the town, with a couple of other 2nds who happened to be going in that direction for their own mission.

Zack cracked a grin at another one of Fair's comments, which was luckily hidden behind his hand.

"So, uh," Zack began conversationally in an attempt to draw his attention away from Fair. He looked at the two other 2nds who were pretending he wasn't there. For some reason, Zack didn't recognize either of them. "What kind of mission are you guys going on? Or can you not talk about it?"

The taller of the two gave him a disinterested look, and, with a long-suffering sigh as if he was just trying to get it over with, answered. "We're looking for something; the details of which are classified," he said in a ridiculously deep voice.

"Oh," Zack said, rather put off. He may be an oblivious guy sometimes, but he could tell when someone would rather not talk to him. Unfortunately for the stranger SOLDIERS, their disapproval was the lesser of two evils when compared with Fair's inane comments, so he went on talking anyways. "I got an easy mission," he said. "Checking out a reactor."

The taller one rose a white eyebrow disdainfully at him. "3rd Class work? You must be a new 2nd."

_Why, hello, Mr, High-and-Mighty Stick Up Your Ass,_ Fair said, slightly angry.

"Um, no, actually," Zack said, raising his own eyebrow with a grimace. "I asked for this mission. I've been 2nd for quite a while now, thank you."

"I wonder what that says about your skills," the SOLDIER mused mockingly.

"I don't really care about what you're wondering about me," Zack was scowling now. "I don't have to prove myself to an asshole like you."

"How dare you talk to him that way," the other 2nd suddenly growled, reaching for a gun on his hip. Zack stared in surprise at it, as it was almost never that you saw a SOLDIER with a gun as his main weapon, and reached for his own sword in a knee-jerk reaction.

The taller reached over quickly to prevent the shorter from grabbing his gun. As he did so, he turned slightly, showing the two long gunblades sheathed on his back. "Nero, I'd rather there not be holes blown in the helicopter."

The one called Nero quieted down, murmuring an apology as he shot a final venemous look at Zack.

The taller man gave a pure loathesome look to Zack then. "You will back down," he ordered. Zack kept his grip on the handle of his sword as the man's hand twitched towards his own weapons. He gave him an equally dark look.

"I don't take orders from you," he said shortly.

"And who do you take orders from?" the man asked. "That amateur Sephiroth? I can see he's much too lenient with his army."

_Fucker!_ Fair exploded.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Zack snarled, standing up. The other SOLDIER stood up as well, smirking as if pleased that Zack had taken the bait.

"Weiss," Nero said lowly, hands on what Zack could see now were two guns. Weiss waved him down.

_Rip him a new one_, Fair encouraged, seething.

"A much better SOLDIER than _that_ last generation experiment," Weiss answered with a haughty smirk.

"I don't give a shit if you insult me," Zack growled, nose to nose with Weiss. "But I'll _beat_ you to the Northern Crater and back if you insult the General."

"Nominal General," Weiss said simply, sneering.

"_How dare you_," Zack bared his teeth in a rare display of anger, lifting his sword enough for the magnet on the harness to let go of the metal.

"We're at Nibelheim," the pilot, an aged infantryman, called down shakily.

Zack glowered at the smirking man. "Open the door. I'm jumping down," he said to the pilot.

Weiss' grin widened. "Please do," he agreed. "We've already gone so far out of our way to take this imbecile. I'd rather get to Banora before nightfall."

The infantryman sputtered for a bit, but at the warning look he received from Weiss and the wave of a hand from Zack he reluctantly opened the side door.

"What a fucking asshole," Zack vented when he finally landed. He didn't look back at the helicopter speeding away from him and started marching towards the town.

_I fully support kicking his ass the next time you see him_, Fair put in, sounding equally as pissed.

Oh, hell yeah. The next time Zack saw this Weiss he would let him know that you do _not_ insult an incredibly respected superior to a SOLDIER's face, as they tend to be quite a bit protective. Especially a SOLDIER who's had the 'SOLDIER pride' mantra drilled into his head since day one.

**-xXx-**

Apparently Zack was the talk of the town, now, and suddenly he found himself accosted by several people, including, but not limited to, the mayor, a reporter who seemed to not care that much, and a handful of small admiring children who eventually drove away Zack's irritaton.

"Thank you, really, for coming and helping us," the mayor said jovially, shaking Zack's hand vigorously.

Zack blinked, shaken a bit by the man's exuberance. "I'm only here for a check up on the reactor..." he said awkwardly. The mayor's face fell.

"So you're not here to help clear the monsters away from the village...?" he said morosely.

Zack looked around at the villagers, who all seemed to wilt at the news. "Um, but I can go ahead and take care of that for you...?"

"Wonderful!" the mayor exclaimed, and Zack jumped at the returned joy. "And we can also give you a discount at the inn for your hardwork so you will only have to pay 1000 gil!"

_What?_ Fair complained.

Zack gaped, "What would I have had to pay otherwise?"

"Nothing!" Mr. Lockheart said cheerfully, "We wouldn't have taken you!"

Zack paled. "Right..."

And so the annoying villagers went on their merry little way while Zack sweatdropped.

"Are you the guy they sent?" a voice suddenly asked, and Zack turned around.

_Hello, boobs!_ Fair sang, then paused. _No, wait, I'm sorry Aerith!_

Even though Zack was thinking something along the same lines, he miraculously managed to keep his eyes on the girl's stern face.

"Uh, yep," Zack replied, puffing up at the chance to show off. "SOLDIER 2nd Class, mind you!"

"Hm," the girl said noncommitedly.

"What do you mean, 'hm?'" Zack complained, deflating.

_Meet Tifa Lockheart,_ Fair introduced happily. _Mayor's daughter, Cloudy's potential love interest, and a really nasty brat when she wants to be!_

"SOLDIER, huh?" she said. "Are there a lot of you?"

"Well, we're not really that big," he replied, shrugging. "There are maybe 30 or so 3rd Class, 20 or so 2nd, and like, five 1sts."

"Mh-hm," she hummed, crossing her arms. She chewed on her lip for a moment, an action which Zack valiantly tried to ignore, before she seemingly decided something. "Would there happen to be anyone in SOLDIER with blond hair?"

Zack tilted his head in confusion. "Well, yeah, I'm sure there are. Why?"

"Do you know any of them?" Tifa asked excitedly. "I'm looking for a blond boy, a little small for his age, kind of shy?"

"Are you wondering about Cloud?" he asked suddenly, knowing that Cloud was from here, and she brightened up with a smile.

"Yes!" she gushed. "Did he make it? Is he in SOLDIER?"

Zack rose an amused eyebrow. "Um, he's only been away from home for a year, as far as I know." He raised his hands in a helpless manner. "Nobody's that good to make it into SOLDIER in that fast. He's still in school. Well, kind of."

She had drooped slightly, but perked up at the last part. "Kind of?"

"He's in the mentoring program," he grinned. "It's where they stick the cadets who stick out."

"Is that a good thing...?" she asked hopefully.

Zack grinned more. "In his case, it is. He's being mentored by the General."

Tifa proceeded to have a little fangirl fit over that, and Fair managed to get his attention.

_You have to be done by tomorrow morning,_ he warned. _Might want to get a move on._

"Alright," Zack said. Tifa smiled at him, and he shrugged. "I have to get to work, though. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Okay!" Tifa said. "If I don't see you again while you're here, tell Cloud Tifa said hello!" She then pouted. "He doesn't write anymore."

Zack thought back to the grueling training Sephiroth was putting Cloud through that even he thought was a bit severe and shuddered. "He has a very good reason."

**-xXx-**

"So, what's our excuse?" Zack asked, taking another step back. He sighed, not very comfortable in the risk he was taking doing something like this, and rolled his shoulders to try to release some of the tension.

Also, he has discovered that even if you're twenty feet from a burning building, it's still pretty damn hot. He took another, longer step back.

_Well, a lot of people talk about a bunch of kids who sometimes go around pranking people,_ Fair mused. _We actually heard about it from one of the villagers, earlier. I guess we could say one if the pranks just got out of hand_. Fair sighed. _I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting something, though._

"I suppose we should get away before the villagers come running and see us," Zack said, looking around just in case. "Should we get going to the reactor now?"

_Yeah, that would probably be- wait!_ Fair gasped in horror._ Shiva damn, get to the basement!_

"What?" Zack asked, bewildered. "Do you not see the blazing inferno that is the mansion?"

_There's a man down there!_

**-xXx-**

Turns out, one Vincent Valentine did _not_ appreciate being literally rolled out of his coffin into awakeness. _At all_. Add that to being yelled at by a teenager screaming like a banshee for him to get a move on, because apparently the _entire fucking mansion_ was burning down on them, and you have one seriously pissed vampire wannabe.

"If I had known you were down there, I swear," Zack said, sitting next to him at the bar with wide eyes.

Vincent rubbed his temples with his unclawed hand. "Scotch," he told the bartender, seriously craving the alchohol to calm his shaken nerves. "The whole bottle. Don't even bother with a glass."

**-xXx-**

**I'm so sorry! D: I kind of got on a role with several other stories and one shots and I didn't really have time to write this chapter until tonight. As you can see, I kind of threw together a chapter because from now on I'll be at my Mom's, which means I won't be able to update as easily since I write all of my stuff on my phone and then email it to myself and my Mom doesn't have wifi. I may or may not be able to find the time to retype everything...**

**Also, if you guys have tumblrs, you should definitely inbox me your name so I can follow you. I need more people to follow and I know you people are wonderful.**

**Good night, as it is 12:30 at night where I am!**


	17. Chapter 17

**I do not own Final Fantasy 7  
><strong>

**-xXXXx-**

"Hey, come on, I said it was an accident!" Zack groaned, chasing after the red cloaked man.

"Stop following me," Vincent snapped, fixing him with his most intimidating gaze.

"I'm not," Zack sniffed, completely nonplussed. "You just happened to be walking towards the reactor as far as I know, and I'm supposed to be there right now."

Vincent sighed in irritation and continued walking.

"Honestly, I didn't know you were there!" Zack pressed, and then quietly grumbled, "A warning might have been nice. Why do you want me to try to be friends with this guy again? He's about as appealing as a brick wall."

Vincent stopped and glared back at him, and, blinking in surprise, Zack realized that he had heard that.

"Oops," he muttered.

_He has enhanced hearing, too_, Fair sniggered. _Probably as good as a SOLDIER's._

Zack frowned, disappointed, because now he knew he couldn't ask if Vincent was associated with Shinra without him hearing.

_He was a friend of my Cloud_, Fair explained. _He used to be a Turk, but was experimented on and forgotten. He has a lot of information on Shinra, though. He's rumored to be the best_ _Turk_._ Maybe could help us find Jenova._

"Hm," Zack hummed, grimacing. "Should I ask?"

_Go for it. It's not like he'll tell on you to the higher-ups._

"True. Hey, I have a question!" Zack shouted ahead.

Vince gave a long suffering sigh and stopped. He turned around, his eyes closed as if he was fighting off a headache. "If I answer, will you go away?"

"Reowr," Zack muttered, then flashed a bright grin when Vincent glowered at him.

"Hurry up," Vincent ordered, looking for everything like he was about to turn and leave.

_Don't let him go,_ Fair whined. _He is an absolute_ bitch_ to find when he doesn't want to be found..._

"Okay, okay," Zack gushed, holding his hands up to stay Vincent. "I wanted to ask you if you've heard the name Jelly- I mean, Jenova anywhere."

Vincent froze for a moment before narrowing his eyes at the teen and demanding, "How do you know that name?"

"I don't think you'd believe me," Zack admitted, smiling a little.

"You underestimate the amount of bizarre things I have seen," Vincent commented gravely.

"I kinda think this would be a bit too bizarre for you," Zack pressed. "But I'm guessing you have heard of her?"

Vincent shifted warily. "Depends on why you want to know."

_Go ahead and tell him,_ Fair suggested. _He'll probably want to help._

"We want to destroy her," Zack answered seriously.

Vincent blinked in astonishment. "_Why?_"

"She's... a threat," Zack stated, frowning. "To my friends and to the entire Planet."

Vincent narrowed his eyes. "A threat how?"

Zack hesitated, and Fair told him, _Just go ahead and tell him anything he asks about._

"She isn't dead, and she's pissed," Zack said at Fair's encouragement. "From what I know, she has the power to really influence the General of Shinra's army."

"And this General is your friend...?" Vincent asked, raising an eyebrow.

_Tell him it's Sephiroth_, Fair instructed.

Zack frowned in confusion, but complied. "His name's Sephiroth."

Much to Zack's bewilderment, Vincent started at that, and the pale man immediately demanded, "How long was I asleep?"

"How would_ I_ know?" Zack grimaced.

Vincent sighed angrily. "How old is Sephiroth?"

"I don't know?" Zack thought for a moment. "Twenty five, twenty six?"

Vincent cursed, turning around and pacing slightly for a moment until he stopped and fixed Zack with a stern gaze.

"What do you want me to do?" he questioned.

Zack slowly shrugged. "I was hoping you could help me find Jenova and take care of her."

Vincent narrowed his eyes thoughtfully before barking out, "On one condition."

_Uh oh_, Fair muttered.

"What is it...?" Zack asked warily.

"Help me get into the Science Department," Vincent stated.

Zack frowned. "Why?"

Vincent turned around, beginning the trek back up to the reactor, and growled, "So I can kill Hojo."

Zack's eyes bugged out of his head and he gaped. "_What?_ I mean, I get that he's not exactly a good person, but _what?_"

_I am _perfectly_ fine with that._

"Why?" Zack asked, absolutely bewildered.

"For reasons I have no interest in telling you," Vincent said shortly.

_Sorry, kid_, Fair stated in an uncharacteristically dark tone. _But that insane fucker deserves to die for so many reasons, and I have my own._

"Shiva," Zack said disbelievingly, following after Vincent with a troubled expression. "You two are going to get me kicked from SOLDIER."

**-xXx-**

"So why did you come up here?" Zack asked distractedly, looking between the valves and dials on the wall and his PHS and twiddling with the settings every now and then.

Vincent, looking in one of the pods in the room with obvious disgust, glanced at him. "I didn't feel like waiting around in town for you. Besides..." He motioned towards the top of the stairs, and Zack glanced up at the door with 'JENOVA' written above it.

_Remember_, Fair cautioned._ If you hear any voices, get the fuck _out.

"You're looking for Jenova." Vincent said. "We may as well start here."

"She's gotta be here," Zack frowned up at the door. "Why else would they have her name?"

_There's one of these chambers in every reactor_, Fair commented.

"They hide her in several places," Vincent said. "Switch her around every now and then."

"Oh." Zack tweaked a last dial and turned around, starting up the staircase. "I'm done. Do you know the code?"

Ahead of him, Vincent stopped at the keypad on the side of the door. "I know the override code."

_That's convenient_, Fair said happily.

And then Vincent pulled out a triple barrel gun and shot the keypad off.

Zack's jaw dropped and Vincent slipped his gun back into its holster, raising a brow at the SOLDIER.

_That's works, too?_ Fair laughed.

"How am I gonna explain that?" Zack complained, watching the broken equipment spark.

"They wouldn't blame you. You don't work with guns," Vincent pointed out as he walked through the dysfunctional door.

"I guess," Zack muttered reluctantly, walking through as well. He nearly ran into Vincent and, bending back so that he didn't get a mouthful of hair he didn't know _how_ long since its last wash, quickly stepped to the side.

"It's not here," Vincent muttered, looking up at the mako-filled chamber ahead of them.

_Damn_, Fair sighed.

"Now what are we supposed to do?" Zack complained, looking around the room they were in. Aside from the platform they were standing on, the platform the mako pod was on, and a large pipe that could serve as a path to either platform, all the room really consisted of was a bunch of wires, pipes, and a comforting forty-story drop to what looked like pure mako.

Vincent stared at the pod for a moment before holding his hand out. "Give me your phone."

Zack made a face. "What? Why?"

Vincent gave him a deadpan expression. "Because I've gone over my _minutes_ this month."

"The sarcasm is _definitely_ needed," Zack huffed, taking out his PHS and setting it in Vincent's hand. The cloaked man whipped it open and quickly dialed a number Zack didn't recognize, holding it up to his ear.

After a pause, Zack heard the other end pick up, and Vincent answered, "Veld."

"The_ fuck_ are you doing?" Zack scream-whispered in horror, fluttering around Vincent and getting shoved into a bundle of tubes with a glare. Fair was making some sort of exasperated groaning, whining noise that Zack honestly had no intention at all of deciphering.

"Yes, it's me," Vincent said, keeping a hand held out in case Zack decided he wanted to jump on him again. "041328."

Zack made a face. "What was that?"

_Turk code thing?_ Fair grumbled. _Doesn't matter, we're about to be assassinated._ Fair paused. _Or rather, you are. Heehee._

"Bitch," Zack grumbled.

"Would there be any chance of you giving us a lift to Midgar?" Vincent asked, turning away from Zack so he could hear more easily. "I have something of an... idea I need to work out. This Zack Fair and I are in Nibelheim... I thought the Turks had their own helicopter." Vincent suddenly glanced at Zack. "Oh. I'm not surprised."

"And what was _that_?" Zack questioned, scowling lightly, but Fair was too busy laughing at him to answer.

**-xXx-**

"This won't work," Zack stated, shaking his head with wide eyes.

_It won't_, Fair agreed, sounding just as reluctant as his younger counterpart.

"No way in hell," Zack continued.

"Relax," Vincent muttered, adjusting his tie and the scarlet cloth he had around his neck. He shrugged. "Or just shut up. I like that option more, actually." He had absolutely refused to leave behind his cape, for some reason, and had somehow managed to turn it into a waist-length, equally as tattered scarf. It looked a little out of place on the neat Turk suit Vincent was wearing, but Zack had to admit he actually made it look pretty badass.

"Tie your hair back if you won't cut it," Veld instructed offhandedly, leaning against the table and observing him, and Vincent did so, pulling off the red bandages he kept wrapped around his head. The Turk commander crossed his arms, scrutinizing Vincent's appearance, and he nodded firmly.

"There's _no way_ this will work," he declared surely. "We are fools for even considering it."

"You're paranoid," Vincent countered, checking the bullets in a handgun small enough to be perfectly concealed in his jacket. "We'll be fine."

"There is absolutely no difference between your appearance now and twenty six years ago," Veld deadpanned. "You are the only person ever recorded in the Shinra database that shoots as well as you do, and I know you're too anal and competitive to play your skills down some. Someone is going to _recognize_ you."

"I've got a cover story," Vincent stated, slipping the gun into his belt and making sure his scarf covered his chin.

"And what is it?" Veld demanded. Vincent smirked.

"My name is Lance Valentine. I'm 26 and from Rocket Town. My father is Vincent Valentine, who disappeared before I could remember, but I apparently take after him." He shrugged, still smirking. "I heard of my father and grandfather's excellent work here and, wanting to take on the big city, came to Shinra to see if I could be as successful as them. Anything else to do with why I'm a Turk, you can decide."

Veld stared at him. "That is... ridiculous. And simple."

Vincent shrugged. "You know over-complicating things is something to avoid."

"You're mental. It will never work."

"It will if I do this." And then Vincent gave a cheerful, relaxed salute and smiled widely, looking for all the world like a fresh, cheerful recruit. "Nice to meet you, Commander Veld, sir! I've heard wonderful things about your department and I can't wait to be a part of it!"

_Bullshit if I've ever seen it_, Fair snorted, laughing.

"That was..." Zack began, wide-eyed.

"Terrifying," Veld finished, actually looking a little scared. "Please don't do it again."

Vincent resumed his stiff posture and dimmed his smile down to a smirk. "You were saying?"

"Keep that up and maybe I'll start believing it..." Veld muttered, still disturbed. "I'm definitely having you report to Tseng..."

_I have a feeling Hojo is about to be put through hell_, Fair mused.

"Sephiroth would probably help him," Zack joked. Vincent looked at him oddly, and Veld made a helpless gesture.

"He's strange," the Turk commander explained.

"I noticed," Vincent muttered.**  
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	18. Chapter 18

**I do not own Final Fantasy VII nor its characters!**

**-xXXXx-  
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Sephiroth marched intimidatingly through the halls of the 69th floor to the staircase leading to the President's office, leaving wide-eyed stares and silence in his wake. Cloud trailed after him rather uncertainly, his meekness having returned at the high-dollar offices around him and, mostly, Sephiroth's obvious fury.

"Uh, do you have an appointment? Sir?" the secretary squeaked, jumping up and trying to catch up with Sephiroth's long stride.

She carried a clipboard with a list of times printed in several columns, and, with a snap of his fingers, Sephiroth caused the paper to ignite into flames.

"His schedule's open," he said shortly past her squawks of alarm. "Wait there," he barked at Cloud, vaguely gesturing to a line of chairs along the wall, and the young cadet hastened to do as told.

Sephiroth stood in front of the President's door, glaring at it for moving too slow for his liking and ignoring the whispers behind him, and eventually stalked up the stairs.

"Ah, Sephiroth!" President Shinra said in pleasant surprise, sitting regally at his desk with a glass of wine. "I wasn't expecting you!"

"President Shinra," Sephiroth growled, across the room and slamming his hands onto the fine mahogany in a flash. "Where are my men?"

Shinra narrowed his eyes barely, enough for Sephiroth to notice and narrow his own in turn, but he smiled jovially. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking-"

"_Don't_," Sephiroth snapped, glowering. "_play_ with me. I was informed a week ago of the entire 13th Unit being sent on a classified mission. They were due back three days ago. _Where. Are. My. Men?_"

A tense silence filled the office, and Shinra glanced to the side. Sephiroth followed his glance to see the Turk Tseng standing stiffly against the wall.

"...I sent the 13th Unit to Wutai," Shinra spoke up indifferently, swishing his wine around. He looked at Sephiroth and raised his glass. "Would you like a glass?" At the unwavering glare he was given, he shrugged and lowered his hand. "My company has had some... unwanted attention... from Wutai's Crescent Unit. I sent 'Ragnarok' to take care of it." Sephiroth's fingers curled into fists.

"You're lying," he stated coldly.

"And what makes you think that, my dear boy?" Shinra queried dangerously. Sephiroth was unaffected by his tone.

"Because it's too _clean,_" Sephiroth hissed. "Wutai is the perfect excuse for you, but you have forgotten to take into thought that _my SOLDIERs are better than that_. There's also the fact that there was no _moving crew_ the day they were deployed."

"They're not _your_ SOLDIERs, Sephiroth, they are mine," Shinra corrected offhandedly, much to Sephiroth's fury. "And I had them leave quietly. You know there's been an information leak. I'd rather not draw any more attention than I have to."

"Where are they?" Sephiroth demanded. "I suppose you'll say they got caught in an avalanche."

"Quite possibly, only maybe not the kind you're thinking of," Shinra mused. Shinra frowned at Sephiroth's obvious disapproval. "Well what do you propose we do?" Shinra asked, raising a blonde eyebrow. "Send another unit in after them? If it's something even the renowned 13th Unit can't take care of, I can't guarantee the rescue unit will make it back as well..." He took a small sip, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the General knowingly.

Sephiroth's lip curled into a sneer, and the President smirked. "Tseng will show you to the exit," Shinra said, motioning to mentioned door. Sephiroth glowered, showing just how much he planned on leaving, but Tseng grabbed his wrist.

"Sir," he said, gesturing to the door with his chin, and lowered his voice. "Don't do anything you'll regret," he warned quietly.

Sephiroth scowled at him. "Tch." He yanked his arm away, turning around and stalking out of the office.

"I will be _damned_..." he muttered darkly. "We're leaving," he instructed Cloud when he entered the lobby.

"To where...?" the blond asked carefully, standing up with a raised brow.

"Snooping around," Sephiroth said flippantly.

Cloud hummed, following him at a much more relaxed pace than what they entered with, both ignoring the wary looks from the pencil pushers. "I thought that was the Turks' department."

"Knowing and understanding an array of tactics can be lifesaving in the battlefield," Sephiroth advised, smirking. "What say you we discover our inner Turk?"

Cloud slowly grinned. "I say if we get caught I'm totally playing the 'innocent and coerced' card."

"Fair enough," Sephiroth sniffed.

**-xXx-**

Both Vincent and Zack stared at Zack's plate with disgusted faces.

"What the hell is this shit?" the SOLDIER demanded. If the color of the unknown mush alone wasn't putting him off his meal, then it was definitely the cooing noises it was making.

_That thing is fucking alive,_ Fair declared, sounding just as disgusted.

"The food quality has... decreased," Vincent noted, casually leaning away when it hissed at him.

"...It wasn't steaming like that when I got it..." And with that Zack pushed the plate very far away from them. "Well. I guess I'll just skip lunch today." He glanced at Vincent curiously. "Why are you here, anyways? The Turks have their own lunchroom. Wait, do you even eat...?"

Vincent straightened up, looking slightly miffed. "_Yes_, I _eat_."

"I was just wondering," Zack defended, holding his hands up in surrender. "I mean, you were in that coffin for so long..."

"Contrary to popular belief, I only _slept_ in the coffin," Vincent stated irritably. "I just happen to sleep a lot. I would sneak out to buy food and other necessities when I needed to. And as to your earlier question, I've already eaten today."

Zack blinked curiously. "How did you get in and out the coffin if you kept it locked?"

"It locks from the inside. I can come and go as I please," Vincent muttered.

A plate dropped itself onto the table before them, and both jumped at the sudden clatter. Though Vincent happened to jump a few milliseconds after Zack, so Zack had the feeling that Vincent was only pretending to get startled.

Zack looked at the plate, which was filled with what look to be a really good meal, and he felt his mouth water as soon as he saw it.

_Okay, not even SOLDIER food is that good_, Fair whined.

Reno sat in front of the plate, smirking, and deliberately took a slow, bite, making sure to moan at the taste afterwards.

"Why are you down here?" Zack asked, bewildered and trying to keep his eyes off Reno's food.

"Rubbing your face in the fact that the Turks don't have to worry about forgotten shipments of food and have to share food with the academy's cafeteria because we're the _Turks_ and we're more badass than you," Reno said all in one breath, taking a bite of the filet mignon. "You're having what the academy's having the entire week, by the way." He waved his fork at Vincent. "Yo, noobie."

"Hello, sir," Vincent said with a bright grin, waving back.

Reno scoffed. "Don't call me sir, yo. Come on, you're older than me. Show a little restraint."

"I am making Angeal write me a permit to go eat lunch out of the building," Zack declared. He scowled at Reno when the Turk waved a forkful of mashed potatoes in his direction. "Why are you doing this to me!" he complained.

Reno narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Because I have to go to Nibelheim today and pick through the ashes of the Shinra mansion and I have a feeling it's all your fault."

Zack spluttered for a moment before demanding, "Why would I do it?"

"Bad things follow you," Reno stated, glaring at him. "You are guilty until proven innocent."

_He's got a good sense,_ Fair mused.

"Why isn't Cloud here to share this torture with me?" Zack wondered as he absentmindedly pushed his plate away when it began scooting closer to him.

"Being weird with Sephiroth," Reno shrugged.

_...Oh, you son of a coeurl!_ Fair suddenly shouted.

Zack jumped. "What?"

"I said he's being weird with Sephiroth, yo," Reno repeated, not realizing that Zack's question wasn't directed at him.

_Hold on,_ Fair muttered, and Zack frowned, confused.

Reno suddenly pulled out his phone, and after looking at it moved his head back as if it had insulted him.

"What?" Zack wondered.

Reno tilted his head to the side with narrowed eyes. "Do either of you happen to know the number 278-7843?"

"Nnnnno," Zack answered while Vincent shook his head.

"Hm," he hummed. "I just got cussed out by some random number for no reason."

_Oh, there was reason._

Zack covered his mouth with his hand so he could mouth, '_What did you do?_'

_I figured out how to screw with phones like my Aerith did!_ Fair said proudly. _I've been looking through any Turk cell we pass. You know, to keep an eye out to see if they've done something with Jenova. But Reno here's agreed to stalk our Sephy when he can because apparently he did something the President doesn't like. Which kinda pisses me off, so..._

"O-kaayy..." Reno said slowly, raising an eyebrow. "I guess I'll just block this number... How the hell did he even get it...?"_  
><em>

_God, Reno has everyone's number,_ Fair commented. _Maybe it's a Turk thing._

"The heck is my phone doing?" Reno complained as it ignored the buttons he was pressing and scrolled through his contacts. "Is it broken again, yo? Crap, I just got this thing."

Zack decided to play fetch with the food/animal thing he has dubbed Monstro with the plastic fork so he could have a better excuse to start laughing.

**-xXXXx-**

**Guess who has a laptop now, biatches~! My life has become so much more simple.  
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	19. Chapter 19

**Wow, I lost any and all muse or interest in this site for the second half of summer. I'm sorry I've neglected you all! You can go ahead and blame me, but unfortunately for _you_ I have discovered Kpop, which is filled with cute smexy Korean men with amazing voices and bodies who take up most of my free time now. Good thing is, school might have brought my muse back. Bad thing is, I haven't checked my email associated with this account for a couple months and _Jesus Christ_ I have a shitload to catch up on.**

**Ah, well, here ya go, a shitload of plot thrown in your face to get things started again.  
><strong>

**-xXXXx-**

Zack hummed, rocking back on his heels as he watched Aerith tend to her flowers. After much pestering on Fair's part (though honestly Zack hadn't been reluctant at all to come visit Aerith- quite the opposite, actually- it was rather a matter of telling Fair that he would kind of get fired for leaving his job all of a sudden), Zack had finally made his way below the plate- via train, instead of, you know, falling through a figurative meat grinder. Not thinking, he had brought a bouquet of imported flowers from the plate, and only realized his mistake when he saw Aerith's raised eyebrows and heard Fair, who had been mischievously silent, laughing at him.

After watching her coo softly to a rather beautiful white flower, he placed his hand on his chin in thought. "I bet you could sell those."

"Sell them?" Aerith smiled.

Zack grinned. "Yea! I mean, look at those," Zack gestured to the bouquet he had brought, which were noticeably of lesser quality than the ones in the middle of the church. "I paid way too much for such crappy flowers. Imagine what people would pay to get actual good ones."

"They're pretty," Aerith weakly tried to defend his gift to her, and when Zack merely rose an eyebrow she cracked a smile. "Okay, I guess they could have used a little more love..."

_And sun,_ Fair put in. _And soil. And, you know, water every so often kinda helps._

Aerith laughed, but her smile dimmed when she glanced towards the door. Zack followed her eyes and groaned.

"Does that bother you?" he asked, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at the shock of red hair that had disappeared through the cracked doors.

Aerith sighed, shrugging. "I'm used to it. They must just not like you..."

"Well, we're friends and all, but still..." Zack turned around and glared at the door. "Reno! Stop being a creeper!"

Said Turk's head popped through the door and shouted back, "If I'm getting paid, I'll be fucking Slenderman. Besides, I don't want you corrupting our sweet little Aerith!"

_His hair's too red,_ Fair objected.

"That coming from a Turk?" Zack scoffed. "You're rich!"

"Compared to you!" Reno taunted.

"Why do you always have to rub your money in my face?" Zack snapped. Aerith was giggling behind her hand.

"Because it's fun, SOLDIER boy!"

"Who are you calling a boy, dude, you're only like three years older than me!"

"Key words, _"older than" you_."

"Do you want me to beat you?"

"I'd like to see you try, _SOLDIER boy._"

Aerith smiled and turned to Reno when Zack opened his mouth to shout something back.

"Reno, could you back off a little, please?" she asked politely, and Reno shrugged helplessly.

"Trust me babe, I've got other stuff to do, but orders are orders."

"Oh, well," she sighed sadly. "I guess I'll just have to tell Zack about that time with the old woman in Wall Market..."

Zack grinned with interest when Reno paled. "And you're scarier than my boss, so I'ma go find a place to chill for a few!"

"Thank you, Reno!" she called after him.

"Wait, I wanna know!" Zack said said as the door shutting echoed throughout the church, but Aerith grinned and shook her head.

"Maybe some other time. That's the best blackmail I have on him and I want to save it."

"Aww." Zack pouted.

"I can make it up to you by letting you buy me lunch after I'm finished," Aerith said slyly with a sideways glance.

Zack cracked a grin and shook his head fondly. "Oh, it would be a pleasure."

Aerith giggled and went back to her flowers while Zack watched and somewhat kept an ear out for Reno's return.

_I wonder why other people don't try to grow flowers,_ Fair suddenly wondered. Zack frowned and shrugged, knowing the action was safe with Aerith's back to him.

"Because they have it stuck in their head that they can't, and so they don't try," Aerith said somberly.

Zack blinked. "Try what?"

Aerith glanced at him. "Growing flowers?"

Zack tilted his head, his brow furrowing. "I didn't say anything about growing flowers."

Aerith frowned in confusion, "Yea, you just did."

"No, I didn't..."

_I did,_ Fair said slowly.

Aerith, who's eyes were now on Zack's face, paled in shock when she saw that Zack's mouth didn't match the words spoken, and Zack's mouth fell open.

"Wait, she can _hear_ you?"

**-xXx-**

A file was slapped onto the table.

"That's all I found."

A fine eyebrow arched above glasses perched on a sharp nose. The seated figure, with his knees neatly crossed, picked up the file and briefly thumbed through it, eyes scanning each page quickly.

His lips pursed irritably and he set the folder back down. "Nothing of what I want is in there."

The taller, notably more muscular figure crossed his arms imperiously, his lip curling in disdain. "There was nothing. So I took matters into my own hands."

The seated figure lightly glared. "Our agreement doesn't involve you taking matters into your own hands."

The taller man sneered. "I don't follow orders easily. The last one had to figure it out the hard way. I suggest you don't do the same."

"Shears was a barbaric fool. It doesn't surprise me he lost his temper and ended up getting killed," the seated man said flippantly. "However, I do not put up with insubordination."

"Remind me when we agreed I was your subordinate," the standing man said dangerously. "And you won't be run through."

"You're the one who needs my help."

"And you're the one who's following a dead trail. If AVALANCHE uses the WEAPONs correctly the same effect can be achieved."

Fuhito sat back, arms crossed, lips pursed thoughtfully. "... Then how do you suppose we make them cooperate?"

Weiss smirked. "Does the name JENOVA mean anything to you?" And Fuhito's eyes gleamed with interest.

**-xXx-**

Sephiroth's eyes, the normally green color reflecting the blue of the computer, narrowed in confusion. "_What...?_"

Cloud, standing with his back against the door and watching through a crack, hissed, "Hojo's coming back."

"How long?" Sephiroth demanded, beginning to type furiously.

Cloud eyed the man's pace and distance from the door. "Twenty-three seconds, give or take a few."

"Those few matter," Sephiroth warned darkly.

Cloud rolled his eyes. "_Eighteen_ seconds now, _sir_."

"I'll be done by then, get away from the door."

Cloud went and stood by the chair Sephiroth was expected to be in for his "check up," and the General jammed a flashdrive into the computer, copying and pasting the file "Project: DeepGround," and was back in his chair 4.3 seconds before Hojo opened the door.

**-xXx-**

Genesis perched at the top of the Shinra Tower, looking over the gray city with unimpressed eyes.

He tilted his head when the wind gusted particularly hard for a moment before settling, and hummed.

Angeal, sitting a few feet away, glanced over from his phone. "What?"

"The arrow has left the bow of the goddess," he murmured softly, and Angeal wouldn't have caught it if he wasn't enhanced.

"What are you on about now?" he asked.

Genesis narrowed his eyes in confusion, his wounded shoulder throbbing strangely. "I wonder..."

**-xXXXx-**

**Yea, it seems short, but it's only because I skip characters like fifty times and really the chapter's about the same length as previous ones. But hey, I'm totally dedicating this chapter to my friend Danizaraki in hopes of cheering her up because she hasn't been feeling too good lately and that's not cool.  
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**I need to sleep. Or stop procrastinating and do my homework like I said I would and just get a red bull before I go to school :D Sleeping is a waste of time!  
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**But _ooh, hey, _look at all the changes to the site I haven't been around to notice~  
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